Lately, some days are worse than others. Somedays I'm a ray of sunshine and then there are other days when I have anxiety attacks over nothing and feel like my meds aren't working. There aren't honestly a balance and people who know when I say, "It's getting bad again" will know what I'm talking about. I think the hardest part is admitting that it's getting bad again.
I'm on three different medication I take daily, and honestly, I wish I wasn't on any of them. Yet the chemicals in my brain aren't normal. I have chronic depression and anxiety, and to be able to survive a day and kind of be okay I must take them. It's not like that for everyone and that's okay. Everyone has their own journey, but they will understand the bad again feelings.
Being unable to get out of bed or do anything out of bed, or the overeating or not being hungry. Feeling uninspired and unmotivated to do things you love, or not spending time with your family. I know what it's all like, and you're not alone. I've found things that make me feel better and I hope they can help you too.
Clean the space around you
After days or weeks of your room being a mess, wipe the surfaces of your furniture, pick up the clothes off the floor, unpack your bags that have been packed for days, and make your bed. Having a clean space gives you a place where there isn't clutter like your mind and a place where you can relax. I always feel a little more put together and calm once I clean my room (or the place I spend the most time in.)
Do Laundry
When it gets really bad I normally can't tell which clothes are clean and which clothes are dirty. Do your laundry and wash your bedding. There is nothing better than clean bedding and fresh clean clothes. I feel a little more calm when I have clean clothes I know I didn't wear two days before, and clean soft bedding to crawl into bed with.
Write it out
Writing has always been therapy for me, an escape. Hence why I love this job. Write what's on your mind. Your fears, your dreams, what you're struggling with and how to overcome them. Make a list of goals you know you can achieve. Don't make goals you know will be harder to achieve. Don't let yourself down and make coming out the bad place harder for yourself.
Be with someone you love
Be with someone you love. It doesn't have to be your significant other, or your best friend. Be with someone who cares about your physically and mentally. Someone who keeps you calm. I recently went to my boyfriend's and we did pretty much nothing but lounging in our pajamas and playing Mario Kart, and I had no obligations and that's what I needed at that moment. A recharge.
Make your self look like a badass bitch and get out of the house
I know the first half of this might not work for you. Yet for me dolling myself up in makeup and making myself look like a babe I feel okay-ish. I feel like I can conquer the world one thing at a time. Getting out of the house is so important. Get that vitamin D on your skin and soak in your surroundings. Everything isn't bad in the world and getting out of the house will make you feel better a little, I promise.
I know it's hard right now and you're tired and you're tired of hearing "it gets better." Yet it does get better. You will have the good and bad days, and you'll have the days you can't stop crying and it hurts to breathe. Try some of the things above and I hope they help you the way they have helped me. xo
sunrise
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bonfire friends
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sadness
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purple skies
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