5 Terrible Christmas Movies That Will Ruin Your Holiday Spirit | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Entertainment

5 Terrible Christmas Movies That Will Ruin Your Holiday Spirit

The Thumbnail is Not a Mistake

143
5 Terrible Christmas Movies That Will Ruin Your Holiday Spirit
YouTube

Well, suddenly those Santa statues you see at ShopRite on Halloween (don't ask, long story) aren't so out of place anymore. That's right, the Christmas season is underway, and thus we must partake in our most honored Christmas traditions. Putting up the Christmas tree to Christmas music, checking the news to see how Starbucks is pissing off the "War on Christmas" crowd this year, and watching Christmas movies that (lets be honest) are not that good. Don't get me wrong, there are some legitimately great Christmas movies (I will fist-fight any person who doesn't like Elf). But, you can't really deny that we seem to be very forgiving of most Christmas movies; that's why movies such as Jim Carrey's Grinch are watched every year. Which makes it so interesting when you see a Christmas movie that is so bad, that it uses up all the preconceived goodwill audiences have toward it and more. That is why we are gonna look at five of the worst Christmas movies you will ever see.


5. Christmas With The Kranks


We all know of Tim Allen's memorable role in The Santa Clause. This Christmas movie, doesn't work out nearly as well for Buzz Lightyear. This movie sees a couple (played by Allen and Jamie-Lee Curtis), decide to forgo celebrating Christmas to go on vacation. This enrages the entire neighborhood, who decides to make their lives miserable until they sub-come to their selfish desires. That's what Christmas is about, right guys? The film's biggest crime though, wasting Dewey from Malcolm in the Middle.


4. Kirk Cameron's Saving Christmas

Even the most passionate Christmas lovers will tell you that the out-of-control materalism of the holiday is a big problem. Don't tell that to Kirk "Don't Ask Him About His Views On Gay Marriage" Cameron, who spends the entire run time of this movie drinking empty cups of cocoa and linking several Pagan Christmas icons to the Bible. To the list all of the made-up bullshit that comes out of this film would take too long. On top of the awful acting and out-and-out lunacy, the film can't even pander to its audience. There is actually a scene where two conspiracy theorist party guests start comparing the "War on Christmas" to other conspiracy theories, with one of them proclaiming "I saw it on Fox News, so you KNOW it's true". Seeing as the film's supposed target audience both watches a lot of Fox News and believes that there is a "War on Christmas", this scene makes fun of their beliefs. No wonder your attempt to hijack Rotten Tomatoes failed, Kirk.


3. Last Ounce of Courage

Speaking of the "War on Christmas", you know that right-wing uncle we all have that spends the entirety of Thanksgiving Dinner complaining about a store employee wishes him "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas"?

This is what happens when he makes a movie about it.

This movie ticks off all of the "War on Christmas" talking point: having Winter Break instead of Christmas Break, a "holiday" play instead of a Christmas play, lies about how the government want's to get rid of Christmas, etc. They even got stock footage of Bill O'Reilly yelling about (eww). On top of that, the film is incredibly obvious in its analogies. The main characters are called "the Reveres". Subtle. The grandson is named Christian Revere. Even more subtle! The villain of the movie is an African American politician from Washington D.C. OH MY GOD THE SUBTLETY!!!! The film is doomed from the start, as no reasonable person could ever get into the idea of Christmas being a dying holiday.

But, perhaps the biggest sin this movie commits is the exploitation of the men and women in our Armed Forces. There is a scene in the movie where the main character stands on top the roof of a missionary, and tells a crowd that our fallen soldiers are wondering if they "died in vain". Basically, this man is using the deaths and sacrifices of service members as an excuse to complain about how other people have different beliefs than him. Why does that sound familiar?


2. A Christmas Story 2

Kirk Cameron, THIS is why materialism and commercialism are bad. Undoubtedly one of the most unnecessary (and worst) sequels of all time, this film falls to capture the joy and magic of the original. You'd have a better time sticking your tongue on a cold pole on a triple-dog-dare than watching this movie.


1. The Star Wars Holiday Special

Guys, this isn't a joke. THIS. IS. REAL. Search your feelings, you know it be true! We're talking about a special so bad, that George Lucas wants nothing to do it. Keep in mind, this is the same man who thought Jar Jar Binks was a good idea. When you watch this special, you will a great disturbance in the Force. It will feel as if millions of voices carried out in terror, and were suddenly silenced.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

The 5 Painfully True Stages Of Camping Out At The Library

For those long nights that turn into mornings when the struggle is real.

330
woman reading a book while sitting on black leather 3-seat couch
Photo by Seven Shooter on Unsplash

And so it begins.

1. Walk in motivated and ready to rock

Camping out at the library is not for the faint of heart. You need to go in as a warrior. You usually have brought supplies (laptop, chargers, and textbooks) and sustenance (water, snacks, and blanket/sweatpants) since the battle will be for an undetermined length of time. Perhaps it is one assignment or perhaps it's four. You are motivated and prepared; you don’t doubt the assignment(s) will take time, but you know it couldn’t be that long.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

The 14 Stages Of The Last Week Of Class

You need sleep, but also have 13 things due in the span of 4 days.

360
black marker on notebook

December... it's full of finals, due dates, Mariah Carey, and the holidays. It's the worst time of the year, but the best because after finals, you get to not think about classes for a month and catch up on all the sleep you lost throughout the semester. But what's worse than finals week is the last week of classes, when all the due dates you've put off can no longer be put off anymore.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

28 Daily Thoughts of College Students

"I want to thank Google, Wikipedia, and whoever else invented copy and paste. Thank you."

1019
group of people sitting on bench near trees duting daytime

I know every college student has daily thoughts throughout their day. Whether you're walking on campus or attending class, we always have thoughts running a mile a minute through our heads. We may be wondering why we even showed up to class because we'd rather be sleeping, or when the professor announces that we have a test and you have an immediate panic attack.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

The Great Christmas Movie Debate

"A Christmas Story" is the star on top of the tree.

2295
The Great Christmas Movie Debate
Mental Floss

One staple of the Christmas season is sitting around the television watching a Christmas movie with family and friends. But of the seemingly hundreds of movies, which one is the star on the tree? Some share stories of Santa to children ("Santa Claus Is Coming to Town"), others want to spread the Christmas joy to adults ("It's a Wonderful Life"), and a select few are made to get laughs ("Elf"). All good movies, but merely ornaments on the Christmas tree of the best movies. What tops the tree is a movie that bridges the gap between these three movies, and makes it a great watch for anyone who chooses to watch it. Enter the timeless Christmas classic, "A Christmas Story." Created in 1983, this movie holds the tradition of capturing both young and old eyes for 24 straight hours on its Christmas Day marathon. It gets the most coverage out of all holiday movies, but the sheer amount of times it's on television does not make it the greatest. Why is it,
then? A Christmas Story does not try to tell the tale of a Christmas miracle or use Christmas magic to move the story. What it does do though is tell the real story of Christmas. It is relatable and brings out the unmatched excitement of children on Christmas in everyone who watches. Every one becomes a child again when they watch "A Christmas Story."

Keep Reading...Show less
student thinking about finals in library
StableDiffusion

As this semester wraps up, students can’t help but be stressed about finals. After all, our GPAs depends on these grades! What student isn’t worrying about their finals right now? It’s “goodbye social life, hello library” time from now until the end of finals week.

1. Finals are weeks away, I’m sure I’ll be ready for them when they come.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments