It's a bittersweet moment, but it's time to bring you the best takeaways from the third and final presidential debate. I imagine everyone is tired of hearing about the debates since each subsequent debate has not really swung the pendulum of who the favorite for president is. FYI, it's not Donald Trump. In fact, Trump probably dug himself into a deeper hole (pretty much an abyss right now) after this debate. Without further ado, here are the five takeaways from the final presidential debate (finally!).
1. Can Chris Wallace Be A Write-In Candidate?
Chris Wallace of Fox News has probably been the best moderator for this year's presidential debates. He controlled the antics of Donald Trump, kept the debate moving along, and was, by far, the most good looking moderator. He'd be a "10" on Trump's scale...if he applied it to men. I'd vote for him if he could be a write-in candidate. Oh, wait, I can do that! Ha ha ha ha! But, seriously, I'm with her.
2. Donald Trump Really Wants An Emmy
He actually did it, folks! Besides saying everything that goes against him is rigged (the election, the Republican Party, the media, etc.), he has called out the Emmys for being rigged after he didn't win the award for three consecutive years when he starred in The Apprentice. When confronted with this by Hillary Clinton during the debate, he simply responded, "Should've gotten it." Maybe he'll get an award one day for Best Performance as a Presidential Candidate. Based on his campaign, no one could top it! Guess that won't be rigged, huh, Donald?
3. General George Patton? He's Dead.
I don't know about you all, but Donald Trump must be fascinated with dead people. General Douglas MacArthur in the first debate, Abraham Lincoln in the second debate, and now a guy made more famous when portrayed by George C. Scott in the 1970 film appropriately titled Patton. When Trump loses the election (I probably shouldn't get ahead of myself), he should become a medium since he is such an expert on the deceased. He could make a new TV show called The Medium and whenever a spirit does not satisfy his demands, he can say, "You're banished!" Maybe he'll finally win that much coveted Emmy award.
4. "I Will Keep You In Suspense"
Donald Trump did the unthinkable...wait, we've already heard that too many times. Ok, once more. Donald Trump did the unthinkable and chose not to explicitly say he would support the outcome of this hard fought election. "I will keep you in suspense." So this whole election has been a cliffhanger? Are you kidding me?! Has this election jumped the shark? I guess it's all been one big reality show and Donald Trump is no stranger to that. "I may lose this election, but the ratings were huge. Huge just like my perfectly proportionate, not tiny hands."
5. Now We Can Vote Our Conscience (Or Possibly Against?)
The debates are over, now go vote on November 28, I mean, November 8. Seriously, go vote. Don't think about not voting. Just do it. If you love Nike products, you will vote because you just did it. Vote, I'm not kidding, believe me. Watch the election results that night on NBC, so the network can finally have high ratings. The program will be cancelled the next day, but watch it while it lasts. No matter what happens, there will still be a United States on November 9. One final word: VOTE!