I’ve been working at my current hostess job for over three years now. As I begin my new job, I took some time to look back at my first job that I spent a lot of time at, but also learned a lot from. Being a hostess is not as easy as it may look. It’s not all about taking people to any old seat and smiling. Sometimes, I felt like I ran that place, and without me it would’ve fallen apart. So without further to do, here are five of the hardest aspects about being a hostess at a restaurant.

1. The managers yell at us when almost anything goes wrong.

As long as it’s not something with a specific table, where they know they can blame a specific server, if something goes wrong, we get yelled at. A host’s responsibilities are not just limited to seating guests at their tables. We often have to help run food out, or go take a table’s drink order if a server is busy. Or you walk away from the stand for a minute to walk around the restaurant to see which tables are open and which tables are dirty. But the second you come back, the rotation is out of whack, and your manager is breathing down your neck, his face turning purple. What probably happened was someone, probably a server, saw a customer standing by your stand and decided they could do your job for you, which of course messed up the perfect little system you had going. This can lead to double-seating, or even the dreaded triple seating.

What a lot of people don’t seem to realize is that a restaurant is organized. There is a reason the hostess sat you where she did. She has a system, a little seating chart that every server’s name mapped out on it, and their tables labeled. The goal is for every server to have an equal amount of tables, and the hostess is in charge of this. When you ask for a special seating arrangement, like a booth, it can really ruin a hostess’s day, because she was totally going to sit you at a table in order to keep rotation running smoothly. But now, because you’re picky, she has change her whole plan, and double seat, or maybe even triple seat a server, which only give the manager a chance to yell at her. So thank you, picky people.

Often the managers are in the back, trying to help the kitchen and servers out .But sometimes they get the idea in their heads that everything up front is going to the dogs, and they come up to the host stand often start yelling and criticizing the host’s work. Everything was running fine until they come up, yet for some reason they choose to yell. It’s basically the manager’s job to yell even when things are fine, so you just have to smile and nod, no matter how much you want to punch them in the face. Breathe, everything will be OK.

2. We deal with the angry customers

I can’t tell you how many times the words “OK sir, let me go get my manager” have come out of my mouth. Customers see us as the face of the restaurant, so they often come to a hostess with all of their problems. They didn’t get the right meal, their bill isn’t correct, they need a spoon, or any other random complaint. We deal with it, often because people don’t pay enough attention to their servers to remember a name or a face, and they certainly don’t know who the manager is. We stay in one place, behind the host stand, so we’re an easy target.

And some people are just rude. I understand you may be having a rough day, but don’t you know not to take it out on other people? Some people will bark orders at a hostess, or give one word clippy answers to any questions, or, what I think is the worst possible thing you can do, act like the other person is stupid for asking a question, like the answer is obvious. If it was obvious, I wouldn’t be asking. It’s my job to ask you how many people are your party, so please just answer the question nicely.

3. To-go orders

They may seem easy, but to go orders are some of the worst things a hostess can deal with. Servers do have a lot of tables they have to take care of at once, but they only have the responsibility of those tables. Hostesses have to make sure things are running smoothly throughout the whole restaurant, and then occasionally go back into the kitchen to grab to-go orders. At the restaurant I worked in we were not trusted to handle the cash register (stupid, I know) so if a customer wanted to pay in cash we had to go get a manager to open it for us. That only wastes time. But we’re basically doing double duty. And often, someone else takes the order and then someone else will go back and get the food when the customers to get it. This often leads to mix ups, which leads to the managers yelling at the hostesses. And often, someone gets blamed for something they didn’t even do. Wow, I’m really making this job sound appealing, aren’t I?

4. Sunday Brunch

The restaurant where I work is not one of the most popular restaurants in town, so we’re not busy every day all day, thank goodness. But Sunday brunch gets pretty crazy, because who doesn’t love brunch? So everyone’s running around with their heads chopped off. Add everything I’ve already mentioned in this list and just multiply it, and you get the craziness that is brunch.

The crazy thing is, customers seem to be ruder during Sunday brunch, which is very odd, because most of them have just gotten back from church. You would think the Lord’s message would stay with them once they walked out the doors. Guess not. Brunch people can be some the most rude people, because they often seem to think they’re entitled to a certain table, or they can’t use their eyes to see how busy the restaurant is. I understand people hate being put on a wait list, but please try to understand we’re just doing what we have to do. No hostess likes people crowding her stand, so yes, we’d like to get you sat as soon as possible, but sometimes that’s not very soon. Sorry other people are enjoying their food too much to be considerate, sometimes that’s just how it works. So take a pager, and for goodness sakes don’t tell me your table must be ready because the device is vibrating. It’s just activating, so go sit down and get out of my sight.

5. Boredom

I know I’ve spent this entire list complaining about how busy hostesses are, but sometimes we do get some down time. And sometimes there’s a lot of it. These are the times when people get caught on their phones. But honestly, there’s only like one customer in the entire restaurant, and he’s probably been there for an hour. So there’s nothing to do. Times like these are when I want to pull out a book, or some homework, because believe it or not I have a life outside of this job. Right after work I will go back to my dorm and finish hours of homework, probably staying up well past midnight. So it’d be really nice if you could let me leave Mr. Manager, especially since no one is in here.

Thanks for reading my little rant, sorry if it was a bit much at times. I felt as though it was appropriate, though, since I will be leaving my job pretty soon for new and exciting things. If you’ve ever worked in a restaurant, I have a feeling you understood each struggle mentioned in this article. For those who haven’t worked in food services, I hope this article served as an educational tool. Be nice to your server, but be especially nice to your hostess.