“Everyone discovers their own way of destroying themselves, and some people choose the clarinet.” - Kalman Opperman

1. Squidward.

This infamous character from Spongebob has ultimately changed the face of clarinet forever. As clarinet players, we cannot go anywhere without someone saying "Hey, you're just like Squidward" Thank you, Spongebob.

2. Opening a new box of reeds and only a few are playable.

Nothing gets under the skin of clarinetists more than paying $30+ for a box of reeds and only having one or two that play right out of the box. High-ho, high-ho, to the reed knife we go.

3. Finding THE REED and then waking up the next day to a chipped nightmare.

Finally finding the one. The perfect reed. The only reed you ever need for the rest of your life. The recital reed. Safely, you stow it back into your reed case and tuck it in for the night. Then the next day, bam. You wake up to a chipped nightmare worse than any horror movie.

4. Playing the Rose Etudes over and over and over and over.

Have you ever woken up in the middle of the night twitching you pinkies uncontrollably? You might be suffering from ERED (Excessive Rose Etude Disorder). If you think you might be suffering from ERED talk to your private instructor or band director today about treatment options and diag.

5. Doubling on Eb clarinet.

What fun would playing clarinet be if there wasn't a tiny version? Though it seems like a cute mini clarinet, it packs a serious punch. Say goodbye to standard fingerings and hello to false and completely made up fingerings. Oh, and playing in tune? Who needs that anyways?

Though this list may only cover a few of the millions of struggles us clarinetists face, I hope that one day we will find that perfect reed, we will master that etude, and we will clarinet our way through life!