There are five stages of shopping for girls and guys. They slightly differ in order, but both males and females go through the same five stages of emotions throughout a day of shopping. Ladies seem to start the day strong with a lot of joy, while guys are dreading the drive to the mall and will do almost anything to get out of attending the dressing room with you. But something changes during the middle of the day.
Girls
1. Excitement
"Today is going to be so much fun! I'm going to find at least 10 new outfits!"
Every girl is excited to go shopping even if she doesn't want to admit it. We are always stoked when we pull into the mall parking lot. The options are endless. Where will we go first?
2. Frustration
"Yes, yes. I see your wide array of clothing. I'm just looking for something that looks good on me maybe, or has enough fabric to cover my stomach...and my back...at the same time. Do you know of a store where I can find that?"
We go into four "first" stores and we don't like anything. Maybe shopping isn't as fun as we last remember or something..
3. Hope
"Oh I remember why I like this place. Sale items!! Who doesn't want something half price?"
We finally walk into the right store that is having a huge sale, and all our frustration is gone. Everything off the clearance rack fits just right and we suddenly recall exactly why shopping is so fun!
4. Anger
"I think this shirt is in the wrong place."
"Oh, that's okay. I love it so much, I'll buy it anyway..The original is how much? I wouldn't spend that on six of these shirts! Nope. Never mind. I still hate shopping."
The frustration is back! We go right back to hating shopping because the sale item we found was on the wrong rack or the bogo stuff is priced like you're a billionaire.
5. Denial
"The clearance sticker must have fallen off. There is no way this is actually worth more than my car."
We walk up to the register and all the zeros pop up when the lady scans it, but it must be a mistake, so we ask her to scan it again..four more times. Yup. That jacket is actually more valuable than my kidney and half my liver.
Guys
1. Denial
"What? Did you say cleaning? Yeah, I'd love to clean the bathroom for you sweetie."
Guys will do anything to get out of leaving the house to go shopping. The door thats been creaking for a month? You bet they're willing to fix it now, but too bad! The door can wait cause we're getting in the car!
2. Anger
"I don't wanna."
They were being all nice at home, but now they're quiet and angry. They don't want to go into any store at all, but you're too happy at this point to care. There are just so many great stores you want to go check out.
3. Frustration
"Yup. Looks great. Butt looks big, or small, or however you want it to look. Can we leave now?"
They just sit on a bench while you're in the dressing room and complain about how many productive things they could be doing at home instead of watching you try on dresses, but then they see something they might like. Whole new ball game, folks.
4. Hope
"You didn't mention that there is a Cabela's in this place!"
You can't find a single thing you like except for stuff too expensive to even think about buying and then they find the outdoors store in the place. Don't get me wrong. I love hunting too, but I can't even find a pair of sunglasses that fit me right, and they find every single item they've ever wanted in one building.
5. Excitement
On the car ride home, the tables have turned. Guys are always so excited for all their new finds and we have one little bag in our lap of perfume ... that we let them pick out. They're driving home grinning ear to ear, while you're sitting in the passengers seat thinking about what could have been if life just wasn't so expensive.
Men will always have the upper hand in shopping. Everything fits and they find sale items when they're looking for the bathroom. It just isn't fair. We girls will always be stuck falling in love with an outfit for it to only be ripped out from under us by the bank because the price tag is outrageous. So keep on acting like you don't want to go shopping, boys. But I know the truth. We all know the truth. You love it more than we do and we have to admit, you're typically better at it than us too.
