Many of my articles lately have been about my recent breakup. As I have said before, I am no stranger to heartbreak, but this one was a doozy. I have had good days and bad days, happy days and sad days. Days where I get dressed up and go out, and days where I stay in alone in my room blasting my ultimate post-breakup playlist. All of the ups and downs are apart of a very real and very much needed process. I find that there are 5 stages you go through- and sometimes in no particular order- after every breakup.
1. Anger
This is the stage where you are angry. You're angry it happened. You're angry you are single again. You probably see couples walk by holding hands and roll your eyes. While this stage is the most bitter of them all, I argue that the anger is needed in order to grow and move on. Let it out! Just be healthy about it. Don't pull a Scott Disick and punch a mirror. Instead, try kickboxing or screamo singing in your room. It might sound silly, but trust me, it helps.
2. Rebellion
Ah, rebellion. My old friend. This phase of the breakup is when you decide nothing matters. You gain some confidence and decide to do something crazy. Whether it be to kiss a stranger or dye your hair from brunette to blonde... (guilty). Rebellion is your "eff it" phase. And it is a key part of the breakup process.
3. Depression
Depression is the worst part of a breakup. This is when you sit in the dark and listen to "Breakeven" on a loop. You probably have candles lit, and you are constantly looking at pictures of your ex. The depression phase sucks. And if you're there right now, let me just say, my heart goes out to you. I will say, it's going to get better. This phase won't last too terribly long, and once you get past this hump of the breakup, you will be on your way to total healing.
4. Health-Consciousness
This is the BEST phase of a breakup! After this recent breakup, I found myself on a super healthy self-awareness and health conscious kick. I wake up every weekday and work out first thing in the morning. I feel energized, happy, and as a result, I am losing weight. I feel like eating better and working out is helping me to focus on the positive things in life rather than the sadness I am feeling. In addition to physical health, I have been journaling- as per the suggestion of my good friend- and have been spending much needed time with God in the mornings. If you aren't religious, replace Bible time with poetry or maybe a good book. Even if it's just 20 minutes after my work out, having that time to write and read has opened my heart in big ways. The health-conscious stage will make you feel like Khloe K after her big transformation!
5. Peace
Peace is the final stage. Whatever pattern you followed, you will end with peace. Peace is when you can look back on the relationship you lost and have positive memories. You might always miss that person, and it doesn't mean you won't always have a special place in your heart for them, but true peace is when you are no longer upset or sad over the breakup. I wish peace comes to anyone facing a heartbreak soon!
Keep track of the process and trust that you need to go through this in order to make it through. Surround yourself with friends and family who will encourage you and love you through it. Your breakup will not be the end of you! Much love.
