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5 Stages of Breaking Up: As Told By the Little Rascals

Sep 09, 2015

Stage 1: Sadness

You may or may not be dying from a broken heart, and you’re pretty convinced that your eyes are gonna fall out from crying so much. So where exactly is the nearest doctor?

Of course you’re sad. You feel like you’ve lost your best friend or your soul mate. You’re crushed that you gave so much time and love to someone who’s gone now, and you feel like your whole world is ending.

Stage 2: Anger

Eventually, your sadness starts to disappear and is replaced with anger. You realize that you’ve been led on or lied to or wronged, and you’re not happy. How dare they hurt you like that?

You start to get more and more angry with your ex, and tell yourself (and many, many others) just how much you hate their stinking guts. You never want to see them again, and burn all of your pictures.

Stage 3: Questioning the Entire Gender

Ugh, I mean, seriously, are they all like that?? You’re convinced at this point that there’s no hope for getting in another relationship, because all boys (or girls) are too crazy. What’s stopping them from doing the same thing as your ex?

So then you just decide to swear off boys/girls for good and hate the entire gender for the rest of your life. Problem solved.

Stage 4: Self-Confidence

It may take awhile, but eventually you’ll reach the stage where you find your self-confidence again. You realize that the break up was not your fault, because you’re flawless and perfect and your ex is the one who screwed up.

You’re not sad about the break up anymore, because you realize that you didn’t lose anything by losing them…. It was 100 percent their loss.

Stage 5: Moving On

This stage takes the longest to get to, but you will get there. You’ll get your game back and start finding some pretty cute, new replacements. Maybe you won’t get into another relationship for awhile, but you feel ok about flirting with some new cuties.

And when you finally do get into a new relationship, you’ll have some reserves. You might be scared that they’ll break your heart like the last one did, but you’re ready to move on and try again.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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5 Stages of Breaking Up: As Told By the Little Rascals

Stage 1: Sadness

Stage 2: Anger

Stage 3: Questioning the Entire Gender

Stage 4: Self-Confidence

Stage 5: Moving On

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#Adulting is hard.

1. Taking care of yourself when you're sick

2. Making a to-do list

3. Planning your activities around the weather

4. Scheduling your own doctor’s appointments

5. Getting your own toilet paper

6. Making food without needing to ask your mom questions

7. Holding your tongue

8. Saving your paycheck (or your tax refund) to pay your bills

9. Balancing your checkbook

10. Going places alone

11. Packing your own lunches

12. Actually eating your vegetables...on purpose

13. Taking a multivitamin

14. Planning a life after graduation

Sometimes bigger isn't always better.

1. If something happens, everyone knows about it

2. Never getting to be invisible

3. Knowing every single thing about every single person in the town

4. New kids are a big deal

5. It’s hard to make new friends

6. On that note ... the dating pool is even smaller!

7. Teachers are weirdly close to their students

8. It forced you to make friends out of school

"I'm hopeless and awkward and desperate for love"

1. That Time He Tested Out His Flirting Skills and This Happened

2. When He Was Willing to Do Anything to Avoid Confrontation

3. When He Couldn't Handle Awkward, Emotional Situations

4. How He Reacted Whenever His Friends Ignored Him

5. All of the Times He Worried About His Failing Love Life

6. Whenever He Tried to Whip Himself Into Shape

7. How He Handled New People and New Experiences

8. Whenever His Friends Got Annoying, He Was Always the Voice of Reason

9. He Always Knew How to Jam

10. He Finds a Way to Make Any Situation More Fun

No, I can't help you.

1. When a customer wants to return a product, hands you the receipt, where is printed "ALL SALES ARE FINAL" in all caps.

2. Just because you might be having a bad day, and you're in a crappy mood, doesn't make it okay for you to yell at me or be rude to me. I'm a person with feelings, just like you.

3. People refusing to be put on hold when a customer is standing right in front of you. Oh, how I wish I could just hang up on you!

4. Having the same conversations over and over again! To be honest I really don't even want to talk to you right now, or have this fake ass smile on my face!

5. Always having to have a smile on your face. I promise I'm not as happy as I may look!

6. Customers not understanding that sometimes, mistakes happen. I am a human being, we all mess up sometimes!

7. Having the boss from hell, it's their way or the highway! Even though I did my job correctly and efficiently, if I don't do it the exact way you do, I'm a piece of shit.

8. Having coworker who don't help out, who bend the rules just enough to screw you over.

9. Having to be at work after closing because a customer is taking forever and half! Not like I'd like to go home or anything!

10. Having shitty hours and more shifts than you asked for. Just because we don't have enough workers, doesn't mean I want to pick up every shift that you cant cover, oh great boss of mine!

11. Not having time for a social life. It gets old saying, "I can't I have work..." Every day of the week!

12. Having that lazy costumer who can't do anything for themselves... no please I'll get that, it's no problem at all!

It's just my face, I swear.

1. When you meet new people, they automatically assume you hate them or are rude.

2. People are constantly asking you if you're OK.

3. After being friends with someone for a while, they confess to you, "I thought you were so mean when I first met you," or, "I thought you hated me."

4. You get told to smile more, but they don't understand how scary that would be.

5. You're always labeled as seeming "judgy."

6. Passing a friend with your RBF in full force and not realizing you just shot them a death glare.

7. Being sarcastic, but everyone thinks you're outright rude.

8. Not knowing how mean you really look until you see a picture of yourself in resting face.

9. Your apologies never sound sincere because of your emotionless face.

10. Your "mad face" scares you.

11. And, lastly, people are constantly asking you if you are happy or having a good time because you look bored to death.

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