Living in Monroe, Ga. is boring, and most people know each other. If you don't know each other, then you've heard of each other. And you do whatever you can to avoid each other in pubic.
1. Filming.
Downtown Monroe is blocked off when Hollywood decides to come and film. Everybody gets excited and mad at the same time. We appreciate that Hollywood enjoys our small town charm and our hospitality, but it ends fast. We hate the traffic and we hate the inconvenience. Yes, we all try to guess which celebrity is where and we all try to "accidentally" run into them. But, really, please leave. I want to get to my favorite bakery without being questioned by bulky people with shady glasses and intimidating looks.
2. Food Truck Fridays.
In the summer, you head down to the Cotton Mill, and stand in line after line to eat from the food trucks. You show up at 11 a.m. and fight off people to get as much food as possible before the trucks' run out of food. And when you run out of money, you remind your friends that sharing is caring. Shut out to all the high schoolers in May that rush there after their finals to get whatever food is left as the trucks try to leave.
3. Going downtown and watching the live nativity in front of the courthouse.
During December this is a dead ringer that you're from Monroe. All residents of Monroe go. If your parents have never tried to get you to participate in it, then they probably failed and never told you. Also, when you hear people complain about government property hosting an event like this, you know they aren't from old Monnie. Because quite frankly, nobody cares. We just want to enjoy the holidays.
4. When snow appears, you go haywire.
Everything is cancelled, and the only thing that remains open is Walmart. Snow only comes every couple of years. Ice is more common and even with ice, everything is cancelled and closed. Your parents freak out and won't let you drive, so you're stuck at home trying to figure out how the sky magically produces snow. And when it does start to snow, you pray that'll it stick even though you know it'll only ice over. You know school is cancelled once the buses can't get out and you enjoy every moment of freedom.
5. Friday night football is a religious sport in Monroe.
Everybody goes to their high school football games, even if you are no longer in high school. After you go to your high school's football game, you go to football games at other high schools. After late games, you hit up the nearest Waffle House at midnight.
6. Crime.
Crime in Monroe is always interesting. Like, when three guys get in argument over basketball, and all three pull guns out in a church. You know you're from Monroe when you hear about crazy people doing insane things, and the only thing you can say is, "I bet that's Monroe." What's worse is when you're right. Or, when your history teacher tells you that she reads the most wanted section of the newspaper because one or her past students is always in it, and he hasn't paid his child support in months.
