The University of Tennessee at Martin – known for the best education for your buck. Here are some things you don’t know about the good ‘ole town of Martin. It’s home to fish bowl margaritas, which happen to put you on your butt, a newly opened Zaxby’s and the best boutique where almost every girl going through recruitment got at least one of their dresses.

Enough of what Martin, Tenn. brings to the table. It’s time to talk about UTM and the Fab 5 – the five signs that you went to UT Mar10.

1.No matter what, you will smell like smoke if you walk by Gooch Hall.

Gooch Hall was home to the educational and public relations department. But it wasn’t solely for education and communication majors. I had several biology classes here, as well as an art class. So pretty much anyone could have classes here.

It never failed, every class I attended there, there was always a pack of international students puffing away at their cancer sticks. Yes, our smoke-free campus, apparently, ran an underground smoking group right outside of Gooch Hall without us knowing.

If you had a class in Gooch Hall, I promise you, you would come home smelling like a fresh night out at Caddy’s (and we’ll get to that later).

You find yourself looking around for Gooch Hall when you smell cigarette smoke? You probably attended UTM.

2.You don’t have to read Harry Potter to know this – YOU DON’T MESS WITH THE HUNGARIAN.

And not the Hungarian Horntail – even though he seemed like it. I’m talking about Dr. Devenyi. Taking Organic Chemistry was pure hell. Taking it with Dr. Devenyi was hell made over.

I am mortified to type this, but oh well. I would secretly be glad that my organic chem lab was on Wednesday afternoons. Why, you ask? Well, my sorority had our weekly meetings on Wednesdays. During these meetings, I would be dressed up and had makeup on. So, I would dress up for organic lab because the meeting was right after lab. Yes, I was that girl that secretly hoped my looks would somehow sway my grade. I hope that’s not any indication of my looks, because, well, I got a C. A big fat C.

But Dr. Devenyi was literally the devil. I remember a time I stopped him in the hall in between classes, because I had a question about lecture.

“Hey, Dr. Devenyi! I have a question!”

That man turned around quicker than Tony Hawk on a skateboard and yelled, “’Hey’ is for horses! You do not address a professor that way!”

Then he stared at me with his basilisk-like eyes.

I stared back with my throat stinging.

“I’m sorry. I won’t do it again, but I have a question,” I reply.

The Hungarian Horntail continued to stare.

That was the fifth time in my life I cried because of a professor or teacher.

You find yourself whimpering when you hear, “organic chemistry with Dr. Devenyi?” then you attended UTM, sadly, in this instance.

3.‘Get Tape’ doesn’t mean ‘Stop by Wal-Mart, and get that sticky stuff!’

UTM is known for its Greek Life. Because the town is so small, most students join some organization to get involved. Now I’m not saying going Greek is the answer to that, but, going Greek is the answer to that.

And thank goodness, I did, because it was the best four years of my life.

But anyway, one competition Greek organizations participate in is rope pull. And it’s huge. It’s something that all organizations get excited about. The dance competitions and singing competitions are loved by the sororities. But this is one competition that every Greek member loves. And so, does the school.

It’s not your traditional rope pull, however. Numerous holes are dug into the ground so that members of an organization can sit in a corresponding hole. Then about eight feet in front of the first hole is another set of holes for the competition to sit in. So, imagine rope pull sitting down. In the middle of the rope is a small band of tape, so after the time limit, the team that is closest to touching the tape is the winner.

As the little gun fired into the air you hear girls screaming, “Get tape!! Get it!!!”

And they’re referring to the small band of tape indicating a winner of the competition.

So, if you’re watching HGTV and you hear your favorite decorator screaming to get tape and you have the urge to start pulling, then yes, you went to UTM.

4.Caddy’s is not a luxury car.

Caddy’s the best bar in the world.

You can go straight after class and eat. You can go on the weekend super dressed up. You can go on a weekday and shoot pool. Hell, it doesn’t matter when you go, but you will always see students there and you will always have fun.

My freshman year I always heard the older girls talking about Caddy’s. I never experienced it until later in my freshman year.

I had this date with a guy on a Friday. We saw a movie then drove to Dairy Queen and got some blizzards. After our ice-cream, he dropped me back off at my dorm, and of course, I called my mom and we gossiped about the fun night.

Within minutes, my sisters were banging on my door wanting to know about the date. So of course, I hang up with my mom and we all start gossiping.

After 30 minutes of girl talk, my best guy friend calls me and asks us to go to Caddy’s with him. We oblige.

I call my mom right back and tell her that I’m going out to Caddy’s with an ATO, then hang up.

So, us girls pack in his truck and make our way to Caddy’s. I hate hole in the wall bars, but I love this one. Drinks are cheap, music is blaring and it’s always packed.

So, after our night out, I drove us all back to my dorm, because at this time, I still didn’t drink.

I wake up eight hours later to the police beating on my door.

“Miss Tarr, are you in there?” is coming through my door.

“Yes, yes,” I mumble as I get up from bed.

“Your mom is looking for you,” they say. “So, call her, because she’s worried.”

I look for my phone after they leave, and it’s dead. Once I get it charged up, I have 14 voicemails from her.

I call her back immediately. Long story short, she never heard from me when I got home, but she remembered ATO and Caddy so she called the ATO house at 8 a.m. on a Saturday looking for ‘Caddy.’ When no one at the ATO house answered, she called the police and reported me missing.

“Someone named Caddy took her,” was her answer.

So, if you see a Caddy on the road, and you think of goose blind shots, then you went to UTM.

5.You DO NOT take Thursday morning classes.

I learned this the hard way. My freshman year I signed up for all 8 a.m.’s – Monday through Friday because that’s what I was used to in high school.

Little did I know I made the worst mistake of my life.

Every college has its party night. UTM’s happened to be on Wednesday. We had Frog Hop, Pike’s Peak Week, SoCo Week and much more. All big parties were on Wednesday.

But I didn’t know this, so when it was time to register, I signed up for the earliest classes so I could get my day over with.

WRONG.

It was a Thursday morning. I had statistics with one of my favorite professors, Dr. Daniel. I woke up at 8:04 a.m. I remember this time specifically because like I said before, you never forget your firsts. And this was the first time I was late to a class in college.

I missed the whole lecture and cried. So, I emailed Dr. Daniel like the typical freshman does and scheduled a meeting with him for Thursday afternoon.

We met in his office, and I wept. Profusely. I told him that never happens, and it would never happen again. He assured me it was totally fine; that kind of stuff happens.

I’m sure when I left he wanted to put me in a straight jacket because what person cries over a missed class?

Sorry, Dr. Daniel, I’m sane. Well, kinda.

So, if you hate Thursday mornings like me, then you went to UTM.

From La Cabana margs to the Caddy’s bar to late Wednesday night memories, you’ve attended the great UTM.

That wraps up the Fab 5 from me! Include some of yours in the comment section! And don’t forget to share!