You were there for your best friend through the heartbreaks, the fights with family or other friends, the dramatic life events and changes. You look back now and realize that your best friend was only there for you when they were able to benefit from the ordeal. It should make you feel sick to your stomach, rather frustrated, to reminisce about those times but it is important to remember how you felt in order to avoid allowing it to recur with future relationships. You live and you learn and this is what their friendship taught me.

1. I need to be more aware of how I treat friends and how they treat me in return.

They used you, they were extremely “sincere” to your face, then talked about you behind your back. This person only saw value in you for what you could do for them, not what you could be for them. Now I know warning signs of such behavior and if I experience them again I can confidently confront a friend about it.

2. Your friends are supposed to make you happy.

You know, your family knows and your other friends know that you do not need their negativity in your life. You allowed yourself one too many emotional breakdowns over a friend that does not deserve one tear. There are many other friendly fish in the sea that do not feed off of drama nor find joy in the head games others play, find those people.

3. Use their cynical relationship as fuel to seek better.

Do not let a bad apple spoil your appetite. After I lost the weight, 150 pounds of them to be exact, you may lean onto thoughts of isolating yourself. Who wants to run the risk of growing close to another person just to have them cause you another huge headache from their twisted lies? No one, however, let’s not allow the fear of what may happen to restrain us from moving on.

4. Do not be discouraged, genuine people are out there.

I am talking about the ones that want exactly what you are looking for, an adventure, a good laugh, and those who don’t forget dessert. You have been to hell and back with this other friend and you will notice how much more your life and heart will be filled with bliss when you meet those true friends.

5. Their friendship may seem meaningless now but it has enriched you.

There is a special place in your heart for this person because they taught you so much about yourself. They taught you that you are full of grace and forgiveness but you are wise enough to know when someone is abusing your open heart. You became stronger, you found the courage to confront them of their negative friendship even when they denied it all to your face. You moved on from it and were able to make friends who only want the best for you and thank God for them.

So thank you to my ex best friend for teaching me a lot about myself and for showing me that it is okay to let go of people in your life if they are holding you back. Not everyone you meet has to be your best friend and invited to your wedding. However, I’ll be damned if I do not send them a thank you card for leading me down the roads I have gone.