We all have those days where we walk into a presentation completely unprepared. We stand in front of the class/teacher/audience and have no idea what to say, not because we suddenly "went blank" but because we were never able to dissipate the fog that surrounded the project/speech/whatever from the moment it was assigned. We stand sweating at the podium and stumble through nonsense that even we know is horrible, waiting for the mediocre applause and grade reflective of the presentation.
Well, I have good news for all of us. A slice of redemptive pie. A "pick me up" when we know we could've done better.
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Sarah Palin doesn't just have "those days," she has our occasional problem every time she opens her mouth publicly. If you just had a rough presentation, don't worry, I've come through to scoop you up and put you back on that golden platform of intelligence. Forever remember that when you struggle through a presentation, you will never fail as hard as these Sarah Palin quotes.
For when you aren't completely sure what you are talking about:
1. Palin on Paul Revere: "He warned the British that they weren't going be taking away our arms by ringing those bells and making sure as he's riding his horse through town to send those warning shots and bells that we were going to be secure and we were going to be free, and we were going to be armed."
For when you have no clue what you're talking about, but have two choices and confidently pick one:
2. Palin on the conflict between North and South Korea: "Obviously, we gotta stand with our North Korean allies."
For when you have said everything you know about the topic and have five minutes left to reach the minimum time requirement:
3. Palin addressing Trump supporters at a rally in Iowa: "Looking around at all of you; you hard-working Iowa families, you farm families and teachers and teamsters and cops and cooks; you rockin’ rollers and holy rollers! All of you who work so hard, you full-time moms, you with the hands that rock the cradle."
For when someone questions one of your theories/quotes and you immediately come up with an important sounding name and reference it to back yourself up:
4. Palin on accusations made against her: "I think on a national level your Department of Law there in the White House would look at some of the things that we've been charged with and automatically throw them out." (There is no 'Department of Law' in the White House.)
For when the professor/teacher questions your sources:
5. Palin on the newspapers and magazines she reads to stay in touch with news/reality: “All of them. Any of them that have been in front of me over all these years.”
