"You're an abomination"

"You're ruining this country"

"Evil"

"Idiot"

"Moron"

If anyone used these words to describe you, I can guarantee you may find it at the least offensive and at the worst incredibly rude and hateful (we all exist on a spectrum and some people just aren't bothered as much), but whoever you are- you definitely know that there is no love in the other person's voice.

Whether you know this person or they're simply attacking a group that you're a part of (gay people, women, Hispanic people, ect). That can hurt.

And yes, you can say whatever you want about people or to people- we do have free speech in this country; however, if you're trying to change someone's mind or convert them to your religion then insults and hurtful remarks aren't going to help.

I see it on both sides, not just the conservative one. Calling someone a bigot, although it may be true by definition, is not- and I repeat not- going to make them change their minds and apologize on the spot. So, in order to help more effective discourse take over the spotlight, here are the rules I've found to be true about holding effective debates and conversations- but as an advocate of science, I have to ask that you please test them for yourself. That brings me to number one.

1. Never take anything anyone tells you as absolute truth.

If you take something as absolute truth, there's no way to grow your life perspectives. While growing and changing isn't for everyone- and you're not expected to do a full turn around- it can be easier to debate with someone when you have empathy. Knowing where someone is coming from- especially on high emotion issues- can really help the discussion stay civil on both sides of the aisle.

2. Do your research

There's nothing worse than reading through Facebook debates where one person is very informed and the other is, well, not so much. This goes for both sides. Make sure you read up on both sides too! That brings us to number 3.

3. Make sure your sources are valid

And no, books are not always valid sources. Usually your best bet is university research, journals and national resources are usually the way to go. If your source is bible.net or the American Family Association, then it's probably not accurate. Snopes is a great website to fact check your sources, as is politifact!

4. Don't bring up politics in the incorrect space.

There have been so many times when I've been talking about my home state or the fact that I love the UK, and someone has turned it to "those socialist states/countries are terrible because they tax you". I don't care. It just makes you look grumpy and rude.

5. Realize that everyone is different from you.

People who are rich are never going to support welfare and people who have been helped by welfare will. Some people will support abortion, others will not. Some people are Christian, and some are Atheists. When you realize that everyone has their own personal reasons, and that we live in a democracy where everyone is entitled to an opinion, you'll find that you can stay calmer.

When it doubt, always go for the "I don't talk about politics" or the "mhm, yes, okay". Keep it polite, calm, and your relationships should survive this election season. It's almost over. People are most likely to listen when they feel safe, calm, and as if they can speak their mind.

So remember, calling names just makes you the rude one.