For a lot of us, heading back to college this fall means not only saying goodbye to our families, but saying goodbye to our significant others too. I know firsthand that it's really hard to go from spending almost every day with them during the summer to being hundreds of miles away on a daily basis once classes begin. In the same way that we're all psyching ourselves up for school to start again by focusing on the positives, I want to focus on the five key things to remember that will help you stay positive about your relationship, no matter the distance.
1. Communication is key.
Like many other cliches, it's a cliche because it's true. All you gotta do is talk. Establish a routine of 'good morning' and 'good night' texts with some check-ins throughout the day. FaceTime or Skype or talk on the phone a time or two a week. Snapchat, send cute/funny links through Facebook and Twitter. It's not that hard to include someone in your life when you have a smart phone in your hand constantly, especially when it's someone you really care about. Know they're never more than a text away.
2. Visit each other.
My boyfriend and I have already been through two school years of distance, and this is the second most important advice I want to give from experience. You still have to physically be together sometimes. Thus, whenever anyone gives me that, "Oh, you poor thing, you're in a long distance relationship" look, I literally shrug them off and either talk about or think about the fact that we still see each other every two or three weeks. That's the time frame we've established that we're comfortable with. When it's been two or three weeks, one of us visits the other or we both come home and see each other since we're from the same town. Sometimes life gets in the way and our time frame is stretched some, but we manage because we know we will see each other. Of course, I know some couples are too far away for every couple weeks, but you just have to do what you can. Like all things that take work, sometimes you need a break from distance.
3. You do you.
This reminder really does help you stay positive. While he's off doing his thing, you're left to do your thing. Your studies, your girls - you have the time for them. This makes your immediate priorities pretty simple. You both build meaningful friendships outside your relationship. You both fulfill your own dreams and goals, and then you both feel fulfilled and happy. You grow individually, while remaining together, which is my favorite thing about my LDR. We're both complete people - you know the saying, one plus one equals two. We're a happy couple this way. Remember this and you and your SO will be too.
4. You'll appreciate each other more.
There won't be any wasted time when you're together because the minutes, seconds even, start to feel way more important. Remember how amazing that long weekend with him is going to be after several weeks apart. The long-awaited dinner and movie dates, the mornings where you sleep in a little longer because he's finally next to you. You even look forward to dressing up a little and showing him off to your friends or making good impressions on his. Be excited for these small moments because they're all you have - and it does no good to be mad about it.
5. You've got a keeper.
To me, and I could go on about this ALL day, relationships are a choice. And if he, she, they/them, is choosing you every day despite hundreds or thousands of miles in between you two, you're fucking winning. What more could you want from someone else but consideration, affection and support even when you aren't physically together? Going through this distance stuff can really build a strong relationship.
You have to choose to remember these positive perspectives too. Because what it comes down to is the choice between giving up a hard situation and losing a great person, or fighting through the trying moments and creating the kind of partnership that could potentially last a lifetime. Simply said, distance can suck, but it doesn't have to, especially when your person is more than worth it.
