At first you aren't going to miss me.
1. I am not "easy" to be with.
I am not the easiest person to be with. I am a challenge. I won't break down every single wall on the first date and be completely myself. I am not going to be able to satisfy you physically after just a few dates it's something you have to work for.
2. You won't miss a challenge.
You don't miss the process of working for things you only miss the thing itself. You will often think back and remember how much effort it to break down my walls. You will remember how many times you had to actually put in some effort and how much work that took. You won't remember the reward that came from that work you put in. You won't remember that you had someone who was always there 24/7 and would absolutely go to the ends of the earth to make sure you felt loved. Instead you will remember the challenge.
3. You won't miss busy.
You won't miss the busy person who always had something going on and wasn't readily available at all hours. You won't miss trying to plan around a 45 hour a week work schedule and an over full-time school schedule. You won't miss only getting to see me after the hours of 8 p.m. when I am exhausted.
4. You won't miss constant changes.
You won't miss me constantly running ideas by you about ways that I can change and grow. You will only remember that I couldn't ever keep things the same for very long because I was always making adjustments for growth.
5. Lastly you won't miss my need for family time.
You won't miss the girl who wants to spend some time on the weekends with her family and yours. You won't miss trying to schedule around family time or having to miss a party because we haven't seen your family in a while.
BUT you will miss me later.
One day when you are ready to settle down you will miss me and I will cross your mind. You will miss the girl who was so focused on forever that she wasn't going to take all her walls down because she wanted to grow into love with you. You will eventually miss the challenge because you will realize how great the reward of having my kind hearted and loyal soul around you was. You won't miss busy right now but in the future when you see me reaping the rewards of my busyness you will. When you see me in my big house with the wrap around porch and the family I come home to every night after work you will miss me. You won't miss the constant little changes like adding coconut oil to my hair or taking an extra hour to read the bible every day but you will miss it when you see how all of those little changes transform me into a solid person. You will miss my need for family time in the future when you are holding you dad's hand in a hospital bed begging God for more time. Eventually you will want solid but right now easy seems better and that is okay with me.
You don't miss me now but I promise you, you will.
