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5 Reasons Why I Wish I Was a Dog

because 4 legs seem better than 2

Samantha Bauer

May 31, 2016

Hood College

319

Carly Meagher

Let's be real, dogs are great creatures. I don't really know what we did to deserve dogs, but man do I love that they're a part of our lives. Being a human is way too stressful, having to worry about my future and my life, and that is why I wish I was a dog.

1) You have no responsibilities

Unless you are a service dog, you literally have no responsibilities. You don't have to worry about paying taxes or planning out your future. You literally don't have to time manage anything.

2) You can nap anytime and anywhere, and it is acceptable

Let's be real, I know everyone at one point wanted to nap at the most random point in the day. As a dog, you can definitely do that.

3) The world is your bathroom

Dogs go anytime, anywhere and someone always cleans up after them. I think this one is self-explanatory.

4) Belly rubs and head scratches

If you say you have never wanted someone to scratch your head or rub your stomach, you're lying to yourself. As a dog you get both of those basically anytime you see a human. How great would that be?!

5) Everyone loves you

As a dog, you get a lot of attention and everyone loves petting you. If I was a dog, I wouldn't have to deal with fake / backstabbing friends, ex-boyfriends, or unnecessary drama (unless it's a chihuahua because they seem like they would be that type of dog).

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5 Reasons Why I Wish I Was a Dog

because 4 legs seem better than 2

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All names should be "unisex names."

1. Communicating via email can be awkward.

2. Appointments usually accompany weird looks.

3. Introducing yourself to someone is never without a hitch.

4. You’ve probably thought about changing your name.

5. You’re often asked why you have the name you do.

6. You get excited when you meet someone of your gender with your name.

7. You feel awkward when you meet someone of the opposite gender with your name.

8. You’ve had someone say to you, “I knew a [your name], but they were [your opposite gender].”

9. You’ve heard a bad joke/pick-up line or two about your name before.

10. People are surprised when they see you.

11. You’re extra sensitive to other unique or unisex names.

12. You’ve fought with your parents about it.

13. All things considered, you’re happy your name makes you unique.

You know that all of these things apply to you. You'll just never tell.

I get it... I'm pale.

1. At least I can't lose you in a crowd!

2. Oh my goodness your skin is like glow-in-the-dark.

3. Can't you just get fake tan?

4. Do you tan or just burn?

5. Your kids are going to look like Casper the Friendly Ghost!

6. *holds arm against your arm* Look how much darker I am compared to you!

7. *holds pale arm against another pale arm* Aw, at least you're darker than her!

8. I laid out by the pool almost every day over break!

9. I haven't used sunscreen since I was, like, five.

10. *adjusts selfie lighting to their face* Oops, where'd you go??

11. *after working out* Your face is SO red!

12. *wears white* Look! You're all one color!

13. You need to get some sun.

14. Aren't you excited for summer?

The struggle bus is real.

1. Child prodigies:

2. Hearing other musicians in the practice room next door and accepting that you will never be as talented as them:

3. That anxiety that takes over before every performance:

4. Taking a million 0 credit classes:

5. When there's a paper due the next day, but you have to attend yet another concert in order to pass a 0 credit class:

6. When your friends try to encourage you after a performance, even though you are criticizing everything in your mind:

7. Knowing that there's always that one professor during juries:

8. The oh-so-attractive band/choir uniforms:

9. Realizing that a college campus is maybe not the best atmosphere to finish your latest composition:

10. Hearing "Oh, you sing opera? I LOVE Phantom of the Opera!" for the hundredth time:

11. When people think finals week is a breeze for you.

12. When you're drowning in the stress that comes with 18+ credits (and not to mention all those 0 credit classes) and people ask you how you are:

13. When it all comes down to it, though, you know that at the end of the day, music is your passion:

Because you need it in your life.

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6. holds arm against your arm Look how much darker I am compared to you!

7. holds pale arm against another pale arm Aw, at least you're darker than her!

10. adjusts selfie lighting to their face Oops, where'd you go??

11. after working out Your face is SO red!

12. wears white Look! You're all one color!