We all have a bitch in us, some of us just chose to acknowledge and give into it a little more. In 1996 I was 4 years old and I had fallen in love with my first bitch. Bitches have always been the characters I've liked because I can relate to them; even at such a young age. A bitch always has a back story, and only the lucky few get close enough to figure it out. Every 90’s baby knows who this bitch is, and most likely grew up with her too. Helga G Pataki from Hey Arnold. Helga is the original bad bitch, and she has shaped my bitch life in more ways than one. I am a supper bitch and say it proudly, anyone who knows me knows that I am a bitch.
1. RBF.
Better known as resting bitch face. Like any woman who has perfected the art of bitchcraft knows, resting bitch face is necessary. When Helga gave one look to any of the kids at PS 118, they knew what it was. She was feminine and pretty in her own way, wearing a big pink bow on her head. Yet her face still screamed, “DO NOT FUCK WITH ME”. Whether it was her perfect, overachieving, and weak sister Olga who would get on her nerves, her parents who seemed to never really care about what was going on in her life, or even the football headed shaped boy who didn’t love her. Helga still never let you see her sweat. Her face showed the world that she and that pink bow were always ready for war.
2. Crazy.
Every bitch is crazy, but real bitches hide their crazy. Helga was one of the craziest and she certainly knew how to conceal it. She tormented Arnold to his face but in secret would go to her shrine of him. Helga filled books with poetry about how deep her love was for Arnold, and carried around a gold heart locket with his picture in it. She would push him yelling “MOVE IT FOOTBALL HEAD” only to run away and apologize to his picture reciting her love to it. Let’s not forget that she once collected his used gum. Helga went as far as to steal Arnold’s hat and break into his room, hiding in his closet peaking at him. Even when Arnold had started crushing on another girl Helga was still there, crazy in love with him. Honestly every bitch has been this crazy about a boy, we’ve all been there Helga. 
3. Independent.
Bitches don’t need anybody, or maybe we do and that’s why we’re bitches? Either way bitches are independent. Helga didn’t depend on anyone. Granted she had her best friend Phoebe, she still was fiercely on her own most of the time. Being that she was in the shadow of her sister, Helga was an outsider in her family. One could say they loved her, but when it came down to it Helga was on her own. 
4. She didn’t give a fuck.
No bitch gives a fuck about what anyone thinks! Helga was a girl who wore a pink dress and named her fist, and she wasn’t afraid to use them. If she wanted something she did it no matter what any other kid at PS118 had to say about it. Again with her pink bow, how many people do you know that are brave enough to rock a big pink bow every day and look good doing it? I have made my point.
5. Honesty.
Honesty is actually a strong quality to a real bitch. You see, there are people out there who are fake. You don’t know they are wannabe bitches because they smile in your face and then get dirty when you’re not there. When a real bitch is a bitch, everyone knows it. You know she’s a bitch because she doesn’t hide what she is capable of doing. She’s confrontational and honest. You may not know what’s going to happen but I assure you, you know something is going to happen. Helga was always honest, besides hiding her love for that football headed boy. But boys don’t count when it comes to honesty! Helga hated the world, and the world knew. What’s important to remember is, the world still respected her. 
Just because I can, I'm adding in a number 6!
6. Fashion.
Fashion is something every bitch is good at, it's natural. It tends to come with being a bitch. Bitches look good, that's why we have the right to be bitches. So quick shout out to the original bad girl Helga for serving up some true fashion. I hope my readers are hungry, cause Helga G Pataki is serving this look. 
yasssssssss bitch.
