It’s sad that most people look at relationships like they’re the be-all and end-all of personal happiness. “I can’t be happy if I’m not taken!” seems to be the mantra of millions.

I empathize because I used to be one of those people. Looking back a few years, I was insecure, unhappy and I felt like the only way I could change all that was if I was dating someone.

My first relationship wasn’t exactly the healthiest and I wasn’t really happy. I don’t regret it, because it taught me what to avoid in future relationships, but I shake my head when I think about the person I was then.

I was so needy and dependent on the relationship that even while things were breaking apart, I desperately held on and tried to pick up the pieces that should’ve been left alone. My heart would be racing if he didn’t respond to my texts in less than a few minutes. I’d check up on him all the time and I was suspicious of all his female friends.

That’s the sort of behavior that was normal for me. I couldn’t even imagine how it felt to go back to being single.

So, of course, I kept holding on.

Eventually we broke up and I fell into what I call my darkest hours. My heartstrings felt cut. I’d wonder to myself, “How do people handle being alone?”

That was six years ago.

If this is you right now, trust me when I say I get it. I remember how it felt to be reliant on one person for your own happiness. It’s a miserable way to live.

How can you be happy in the long run 5, 10 or 50 years from now if you’re dependent on someone else to fix all your personal problems? That’s a sign of a larger issue.

You need to be satisfied with who you are before you can get into a healthy relationship.

If you truly believe there’s no possibility of happiness because you’re single, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment, pain and the inevitability of entering a toxic relationship. The relationship you eventually enter won’t last and you’re going to spiral down. Hard.

Here are five mindset shifts I had to finally internalize before I realized how to be self-content outside of a relationship.

You have the chance to build a better lifestyle.

Relationships won’t transform you into a captivating person filled with unique hobbies and interests.

That’s on you.

I used to believe that having a boyfriend would somehow make me more interesting, and that I would do more interesting things. The truth is, the bulk of the work lies on your shoulders, whether you’re single or otherwise. In my case, I began to dive deep into subjects I enjoyed.

Theatre interested me, so I dove head first into that. I went out and bought more plays, went to more shows, studied up on this craft and I had a new conversation topic to fall back on. Boom, more interesting.

Then, I picked up my flute and started to play my instrument more. Prokfiev Sonata and Hue Fantasie became hobbies that kept me busy and gave me things to talk about.

Having interests makes you interesting.

Being single can be just as self-improving as a relationship.

They say your significant other brings out the best in you. That’s only if you’re in a healthy relationship, which most people currently dating aren’t.

You can still work on building self-confidence, self-esteem and everything in between. Personal growth doesn’t suddenly halt when your Facebook relationship status is set to single.

If you condition yourself to believe you can’t grow on your own then your mindset needs a serious shift.

Unfortunately, there’s no magic solution you can drink to realize this. It’s something you’ll have to come to yourself.

Toxic relationships drain you more.

Rush into one and you’re bound to be desperate. You’ll fall for the first guy that displays any interest in you and you’ll stay with him because you’ll tell yourself it’s better than being single.

Don't be in a soul-sucking relationship just to avoid being single. The world will not crash and halt just because you haven't find the "one."

There’s no such thing as wasted time.

Do you have one of those friends who's in a relationship and they aren't really happy? But, they refuse to leave the relationship because "all that time and effort put into the relationship would've been for nothing."

OK, you put effort into something that didn’t quite meet your expectations - but so what? You learn what to avoid in the future. You get stronger. You emerge as a freaking beast.

Did I regret my first relationship? I sure did at the time, but I realized I had grown so much from my experience. I know more about what I want, what I don’t and I learned something valuable: holding onto something broken only delays the disappointment when it shatters.

Learning to be content with yourself allows you find a higher quality partner.

After learning to be happy with myself, my expectations for my future boyfriend have been raised much further than just physical appearance. The way I look at it, I’m living an adventure of my own. I want my partner to add onto that and I’m not willing to settle for less.

When I go on dates I’m seeing if I’m interested in them, not the other way around.

This lets me be a lot more relaxed and confident in myself when I’m meeting men because I have all my s*** together. There’s no secretly hoping he’s “the one” every time.

All of this because of these five mindset shifts.