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5 Reasons Why Being Bald Is Awesome

Some think being bald is some sort of disadvantage, but they're wrong...so wrong.

Greg Payne

Sep 05, 2017

Chattanooga, Tennessee

370

David Siglin

I started shaving my head about 5 years ago. Prior to that, I used clippers with no guard and had it almost shaved, but there was still evidence of some hair. When I had hair, it was blonde so when it started thinning when I was around 30, I looked bald on top anyway. I fought the good fight on that for a year or so, finally gave in and ultimately started using clippers. First with a guard (I can't remember the number though) and then, as I grew bolder and more comfortable with the look, I progressed to no guard.

But shaving it with a razor was a big step. Some folks don't have the proper head shape to go with the clean shaven head look. I've got a big round melon on my neck, so I thought I could pull it off. I like how it looks. Most people don't even remember me with hair now.

Here are my top five reasons that being bald is awesome:

1. Shampoo?! What shampoo?

Think of all the money I'm saving because I don't have to buy shampoo. One time a kid asked me if I used shampoo on my bald head. This earned him one of THOSE looks. You know the one. You give them to people when they asked you an obviously stupid question. I informed him that I just washed my head with soap and he looked horrified. Anyway, I'm saving money by being bald. Speaking of saving money...

2. I don't go to the barber shop.

Now look, if you're a dude and you're going to a hair stylist, I'm 100% going to make fun of you. Your man card is in a little danger here. Men go to the barber shop and I'm not accepting any arguments on this. I get that there are lots of pretty hair stylists and you think you've got a chance by being her customer, but, chances are, you don't.

Anyway, I always enjoyed going to the barber shop and I do miss that part of it...but I'm saving money by shaving my own head.

3. The "look".

I'm a fairly big dude and the bald head with a goatee look has worked to my advantage more often than not. I've been called "Stone Cold" many times. That is completely fine with me because, well, Stone Cold is awesome. There are certainly worse looks I could have associated with me. I'll take Stone Cold.

4. "I love bald men. Just because you've lost your fuzz, don't mean you ain't a peach." -Dolly Parton

Exactly. If it's good enough for Dolly, it's good enough for me.

5. How tough does this dude look?

I rest my case.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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Recommended for you

5 Reasons Why Being Bald Is Awesome

Some think being bald is some sort of disadvantage, but they're wrong...so wrong.

1. Shampoo?! What shampoo?

2. I don't go to the barber shop.

3. The "look".

4. "I love bald men. Just because you've lost your fuzz, don't mean you ain't a peach." -Dolly Parton

5. How tough does this dude look?

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Actually, Kylie Jenner, 2018 is the year of realizing things.

Waking Up Early in College is So Much Harder

You Have to Get Used to Walking Everywhere

Fuzzy Socks are the Cure to All Problems

Take Every Opportunity to Get Free Food

It's Okay to Gain the "Freshman Fifteen"

Invest in Vitamins and Supplements

Making Time to Clean is Essential

Drinking Water is Actually Important

Cs get degrees!

1. Me after every class

2. If you really care about your grades

3. When you get a new homework assignment

4. When people ask what you're going to do after college

5. When you see people who don't study and get good grades

6. We're all broke here

7. FREE FOOD IS FREE FOOD!

8. When it seems like everyone in class is smart - EXCEPT THE PEOPLE IN YOUR GROUP PROJECT!!

Other than knowledge and all those important things

How to take stairs.

Caffeine is your friend.

How to study.

Finding free food.

How to take a nap anywhere.

How to appreciate sleep.

How to procrastinate productively.

Surprise: This is not on the syllabus

1. As a freshman, one does get to be called “freshman” by upperclassmen when they walk to parties in a mob of people.

2. Some of the best stories happen after 2 a.m.

3. Upperclassmen live for meal swipes from freshman because they are poor and need free food.

4. People are struggling just as much as you are so you're not alone.

5. You will never take privacy or personal space for granted ever again.

6. You are not the only one who has slept on the community bathroom floor after a night out.

7. Skipping class for Netflix is a valid excuse.

8. It’s totally acceptable to bring a pot of coffee, a sleeping bag and a pillow to the library.

9. Having class with a friend is the best because you can trade off days on who goes to class.

10. When you are a senior, you take the easiest classes to boost your GPA.

11. How to pull an all-nighter.

12. How to handle drunk people.

13. The drunk you does not look out for sober you about 90 percent of the time.

14. How to deal with a hangover.

15. How to interact with people very different from you.

16. The perfect amount to procrastinate on every assignment.

17. How to pass a class without paying for the textbook that was "required."

18. How to calculate your grades to see what you need on every test in order to maintain a passing grade.

19. How to hook-up with someone without getting emotions involved (but we all know that doesn’t happen).

20. How to handle your roommate when you want to strangle them.

21. That you miss your parent’s every day.

22. How to get into a bar when you aren’t 21.

23. How to BS on assignments, out loud and on your resume.

24. That theme parties are the greatest.

25. How to find free events that have free food.

26. That when there are puppies on campus it will be the greatest day of your life.

27. Alarms are necessary and you must set like seven of them in order to wake up in time for class.

28. Greek parties are exactly how they are in movies.

29. Care packages are treated like Christmas presents.

30. The friends you meet in college will become your bridesmaids and groomsmen.

31. That printers only break when you need them the most.

32. Cereal, ramen noodles, Easy Mac and microwavable pancakes can be used for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

33. That classes before 8 a.m. should be illegal.

34. Changing your major is OK.

Don't let the thesaurus-inspired vocabularies in our résumés fool you. We're actually just big kids.

"You should know exactly what career is right for your future by the time you're 18."

"Save all your money."

"Get plenty of sleep and adjust to a regular sleep schedule."

"Make sure to eat healthy, balanced meals. Don't forget those fruits and vegetables."

"Surround yourself with good, moral people."

"Don't do anything stupid."

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