I have a hardness when it comes to my depression. My refusal to be ashamed is as strong as my refusal to give up. I feel like my illness has left me weak in so many areas of life. To me, I’m clearly limping along. Yet others fail to see it. I refuse to be ashamed of my depression.

This morning I woke up with an even stronger resolve but I was curious where it all came from. Why do I feel so strongly about wearing my depression on my sleeve?

I managed to narrow it down to five for you. So let’s jump in…

1. It is not my fault

It was never my intention to spend my days fighting depression. I never planned to spend year 19 of my life in and out of hospitals. I never planned for it to still haunt me today. I now realize my depression and anxiety go as far back as I do. We just never diagnosed or treated it. Why would we? I have enough positive traits in my personality that I can fake it with the best of them.

The point is that I was born this way so I can’t blame myself for being like this. I should not feel ashamed or guilty because this is not my fault.

Now what I do with this life, broken to hell as it may be, is on me. My focus should not be on shame but on action. What can I do to not waste this? What can I do to create some positivity out of all this crap?

2. It doesn’t change my value

Look, it’s taken almost 21 years of a super-encouraging support system, 7 years of therapy, and a whole lot of Bible study to finally be able to tell you that I’m pretty freaking valuable. I have worth. So do you.

Depression doesn’t change that, in any way.

Let me challenge you. You are as valuable as you believe you are.

If you believe depression alters your value and you think you are worthless then here’s what you do:

First, start writing down the stuff you don’t believe about yourself on Post-It notes or 3×5 cards. Write down that you are loved. Write down that you are valuable. Write down that you get ethereally excited about the movie Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. (I definitely did) Tape those guys all over your home and whenever you see one you recite it out loud to yourself. Once you get used to seeing them, change up the colors and positions so your eyes keep catching them.

I’m telling you nothing has shifted how I view myself more than that. I did more for my self-confidence in 6 months of doing that than in 6 years of therapy. It’s remarkable.

Second, if you do not feel you are valuable then provide value to someone else. Give of yourself to somebody. If your depression doesn’t let you do it today then keep it on the list for tomorrow. Create some value for this world. That’s what this blog is for me. I don’t want any part of my life wasted even the BS depression I’m stuck with. If I waste it, it’s worthless.

What if I can take this horrible illness and create some positivity in the world and help other people who are going through the same thing? How cool would that be?! That is making a beautiful mark with an otherwise ugly pen. So go provide some value. Share your story with someone who is hurting like you. Text a friend to see how they are doing even though you can’t possibly handle your emotional issues and their’s too. Do it anyway. Provide some value.

But, let’s not forget, you are still valuable to begin with.

3. I’m not the only one

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) says that about 9 percent of adult Americans have feelings that generate a depression diagnosis.

Here’s the stat that gets me: About 3 percent have major depression. 3 percent! That means that if I’m in a room with 99 other people there’s a good chance that 2 other people feel similarly to me. Scale that up however you want. You’re not the only one at your school, in your company, or in your city dealing with this. Yes, each case is unique but you can’t tell me being part of that large number makes you alone.

.Why should I be ashamed of something that’s pretty common?

Are you ashamed of your migraines? What about your cold? Obviously the difference is the stigma. That sucks. It shouldn’t be that way. Look at how many people are suffering with depression. Look how many people have given up and killed themselves. You aren’t the first one. You won’t be the last.

Stop making a crappy situation worse by feeling guilty and ashamed. It is wasted energy and we both know you need that energy to fight this depression.

The knife’s already in you dude, you don’t need to twist the blade too.

4. Because I’m loved anyway

I believe the only true unconditional love comes from God. Second to that is my friends, family, and church community. I’m lucky, I have people in my corner. Not everybody has that. But whether you’re surrounded by parents who don’t know how to express it or don’t believe that it is real or you’re battling this thing quietly, afraid to tell anyone, I want to tell you that you are loved despite your illness.

Your depression is not a reason someone should or should not love you. Most of all your depression is not a reason YOU should or should not love you. So many people are making their depression worse by hating themselves for it. Depression is hard enough without pouring hate and guilt on top of it.

I have a tendency to apologize to everyone whenever my depression ruins our plans. Most of the time they get frustrated with me because they don’t see a point in apologizing for something like that. To them it’s my depression’s fault not mine. To them we’re on the same side of this battle. Even if I do not believe it on my bad days, it’s clear that my friends hate my depression but love me.

We have to be that way to ourselves. We are not our depression. It’s us vs. our depression. We must learn to hate the depression but still love ourselves. We cannot continue to hate ourselves. That helps us in no way.

At times I’ve used both hate and love to fuel myself and get me closer to a goal. But I will tell you without any doubt that I’ve never crossed a finish line by hating myself. That leads me to failure every time.

5. Because too many others are ashamed

This is why I won’t hide my depression. This is why I write about it publicly. There are so many out there who are too ashamed to share their hurts. That makes it harder for the rest of us. When you keep quiet then people think they are the only ones. When they think they are the only ones they feel like outcasts. They feel alone. They feel unloved. They feel worthless. They think they did something wrong. They are ashamed.

Shame hurts. It doesn’t help. Those who can speak should speak so that the ones who can’t know they aren’t alone.

You should not feel ashamed of your depression. Today, make these five reasons yours. Own them, make an impact both on your own mental health and the health of others.