1. Demise of Success and Empire.

The Trump Store, located in Trump Tower, will go out of business because tight security will prevent shoppers from coming in and spending their money on luxurious cuff links from the Donald J. Trump Signature Collection, glamorous handbags by Ivanka Trump and fragrances, including ‘Success by Trump’ and ‘Empire by Trump.’

2. Must-See TV.

We can anticipate the creation of another fantastic reality television show about how to be the greatest president ever. “The Trump President” will make clear once and for all that Washington, Jefferson and Lincoln were sheer mediocrity as presidents compared to this guy.

3. Defining the Presidency Down.

We can all celebrate the fact that Trump has proven this: truly anybody can be president. You too can win the White House, even if you have two ex-spouses, a couple of bankruptcies under your belt and no governing experience. All you need is a big mouth and at least some money.

4. Bringing Versailles to the White House.

That shabby White House, with its low-rent furnishings and design styled by Jacqueline Kennedy, who knew nothing about glamour, has long been an embarrassment. Isn’t it great to know the interiors will now be filled with gold furniture, mirrors, and rooms decorated in the Louis XIV style. Classy!

5. The American People Have Got Better Things to Do Than Sit and Wail about an Insignificant President.

All Americans will find out that a president like Donald Trump cannot wreck their spirit or their country. Come what may, we will keep chugging on, regardless of who is president. In fact, because of the controversies surrounding Trump’s election, our political system might improve somewhat to make it fairer and more representative of the American people.