Yes, Divorce Can Be Tough But Here Are 5 Reasons You Don't Have To Be Ashamed | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Swoon

Yes, Divorce Can Be Tough But Here Are 5 Reasons You Don't Have To Be Ashamed

A humiliation stigma has been given to those who found a way out

221
Yes, Divorce Can Be Tough But Here Are 5 Reasons You Don't Have To Be Ashamed
123rf

Divorce is quite common nowadays, and while it can be difficult to parties going through it, there is a social stigma surrounding it. When that happens, divorced couples have been reported to feel shame, isolated and even depressed.

There's nothing wrong with divorce—if two people can't make their marriage work and it is no longer worth it, then it's better to let go. No matter whose fault it was or what circumstance brought the marriage to an end, there are many reasons why you should not be ashamed about your divorce:

1. Remember why you divorced in the first place

Outsiders not involved in the marriage should remain where they are: outside. Regardless of what people will inevitably say of your failed marriage, the crucial thing to remember is the reasons why the union resulted in divorce.

No matter what the reasons are—abusive partner, infidelity, money, unrealistic expectations, etc.—you are in the right for separating with them. In the end, there was something that brought the marriage down, a factor where everything went wrong, this is what you have to remember.

2. Divorce is not a failure—marriage is not always the best

A failed marriage does not mean you're a failure in life and in everything else. Humans experience failures all the time. Some experience it with jobs, in school, finance, and some in relationships. Instead of mulling over the negatives, think of divorce as a sort of fresh start.

We all make decisions that lead to outcomes of all types. In the beginning, it might've been a healthy marriage or it could've been over before it even began, but no matter what it is important to remember that all good things come to an end when they're ready. Nothing is perfect and people change.

While marriage that ends in divorce is always a sign that your romantic relationship with your partner is over, it doesn't mean it has to end forever. This is especially useful when children are involved. Assuming that you’re both co-parenting, it can be hard if the two of you are not actively participating.

3. You're not the first or the last person to get a divorce

When you talk with a group of people your age, it is highly likely that a handful of them are divorced or are going through it. You'd be surprised by how many people lead exciting lives after their divorce. This confirms that divorce is not a failure and that everyone going through it should embrace their fresh new start in order to attract new things in their lives.

4. "Staying together for the kids" never benefits anyone

If you're in an unhealthy relationship, don't allow your kids to witness the unhealthy parts. There's a lot said about children coming from broken homes and the issues that psychologically impact them.

Well, I come from a broken family—my parents are divorced, their parents are divorced and everyone else has been through one divorce or another. I grew up believing that the best thing to do in an unhealthy situation is to leave.

Yes, I missed out on understanding how families were supposed to be and how it would've felt to be raised by both parents. Finally, I grew up. I saw how complicated relationships could be and I developed an understanding of why my parents' relationship didn't work out. I realized that some people just aren't meant to be together.

I realized that happiness matters more than the title of "divorce."

Staying together for the kids only opens up the opportunity for them to witness every negative aspect of your relationship. The last thing we should expose children to is unhappiness with someone you're supposed to love. Divorcing can be harder on children when they're young, but as they grow up they will see the bigger picture of how divorce can actually be a healthy thing.

5. Divorce can be healthy

If you caught yourself in an unhealthy relationship that changed drastically over time, it is safe to say that you probably did the right thing by divorcing them.

Your first instinct was probably not divorce. I'm sure every relationship builder handbook has been torn apart cover to cover. I'm sure you struggled to make it work with your (now ex) spouse for years. You uncovered the half-truths and the deceptions, and at times even made excuses for them, you doggedly tried to brush off concerned questions from your family and friends. And while you didn’t want to do it, you knew it had to be done. You filed for divorce.

You will be so much healthier and happier than if you stayed unhappily married.

Researchers love to praise marriage as a health-boost (they clearly were never stuck in a miserable marriage.) And the rest of us tend to think that a marriage is better than no marriage at all. And while all the stats and studies love to tout the benefits of being hitched, we often forget that it’s not about the marriage as much as it is the quality of the marriage.

There’s been plenty of science to prove that an unhappy, conflict-riddled marriage can be worse for you health-wise than if you were single. And if you hadn’t broken up, you would still be at an increased risk for heart disease, cancer, arthritis, diabetes, and depression.

A study from Michigan State University found that people who were believed to be in a bad marriage were actually more likely to experience negative cardiovascular effects, compared to people in good marriages.

So before you're quick to give someone crap about being divorced, think about all of the ways that they're better off and healthier than they were in a toxic marriage. Before we give stigmas to things we should consider the possibilities and the opportunities things like divorce actually brings.

If you have had a divorce or are going through a divorce, just remember, do what makes you happiest in the end, you don't have to live in Hell forever.

Report this Content
Featured

12 Midnight NYE: Fun Ideas!

This isn't just for the single Pringles out there either, folks

13229
Friends celebrating the New Years!
StableDiffusion

When the clock strikes twelve midnight on New Year's Eve, do you ever find yourself lost regarding what to do during that big moment? It's a very important moment. It is the first moment of the New Year, doesn't it seem like you should be doing something grand, something meaningful, something spontaneous? Sure, many decide to spend the moment on the lips of another, but what good is that? Take a look at these other suggestions on how to ring in the New Year that are much more spectacular and exciting than a simple little kiss.

Keep Reading...Show less
piano
Digital Trends

I am very serious about the Christmas season. It's one of my favorite things, and I love it all from gift-giving to baking to the decorations, but I especially love Christmas music. Here are 11 songs you should consider adding to your Christmas playlists.

Keep Reading...Show less
campus
CampusExplorer

New year, new semester, not the same old thing. This semester will be a semester to redeem all the mistakes made in the previous five months.

1. I will wake up (sorta) on time for class.

Let's face it, last semester you woke up with enough time to brush your teeth and get to class and even then you were about 10 minutes late and rollin' in with some pretty unfortunate bed head. This semester we will set our alarms, wake up with time to get ready, and get to class on time!

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

The 5 Painfully True Stages Of Camping Out At The Library

For those long nights that turn into mornings when the struggle is real.

2490
woman reading a book while sitting on black leather 3-seat couch
Photo by Seven Shooter on Unsplash

And so it begins.

1. Walk in motivated and ready to rock

Camping out at the library is not for the faint of heart. You need to go in as a warrior. You usually have brought supplies (laptop, chargers, and textbooks) and sustenance (water, snacks, and blanket/sweatpants) since the battle will be for an undetermined length of time. Perhaps it is one assignment or perhaps it's four. You are motivated and prepared; you don’t doubt the assignment(s) will take time, but you know it couldn’t be that long.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

The 14 Stages Of The Last Week Of Class

You need sleep, but also have 13 things due in the span of 4 days.

1538
black marker on notebook

December... it's full of finals, due dates, Mariah Carey, and the holidays. It's the worst time of the year, but the best because after finals, you get to not think about classes for a month and catch up on all the sleep you lost throughout the semester. But what's worse than finals week is the last week of classes, when all the due dates you've put off can no longer be put off anymore.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments