“Life’s not fair!” How many of you hollered that as a child the first few times you had something really crummy happen to you, and it just simply wasn’t fair? A struggle is something that generally isn’t “fair” and feels as though it is out of one’s control. Nobody is immune to this aspect, and sadly it happens to some individuals more than others. But those who grow and aspire as this occur are defined as: resilient. Resilience is a term used when describing those who go through immense struggles in life and don’t complain a second, and persevere to become the strongest and most amazing souls to walk the earth. As one suffers through more hardships and learns to cope, the world is truly your oyster; and resilience will ensue.

1. Things Could Be Worse

Do you have a roof over your head? Do you have enough food to survive? If you answered yes to both of those questions, I promise you things will be okay. I hate to be that person, but we all know it’s completely true. Sometimes when I get really upset over something meager, I remind myself to slow down and realize how great my life is, and how much I’ve already made it through. I look around at the beautiful well-decorated home that I am lucky enough to live in, and the simple fact that I’ve never had to go hungry or without shelter. There are children and adults all over this world who cannot fulfill these seemingly simple survival necessities—and if that doesn’t shatter your heart into a million pieces you may not have one. Shelter and nourishment may seem like common things, but there are people out there who have none of these things; save your whining for a different day and count your blessings. Hug your mom, your dad, your cousin, your friends, your boyfriend, or whatever your support system may be; let them know how much you love them, because you are so blessed to have special people in your life and people will always be more important than objects/things.

2. You See People’s True Colors

I don’t think I can emphasize this point enough—a large amount of individual’s head for the hills when the going gets tough in one’s life as opposed to staying by their side and helping them through their struggle. I’m sure listening to me blubber through the phone or bawl my eyes out to my friends was not enjoyable for them, but my true friends stayed along for the ride and I will love them eternally for this. However, it helps to weed out all of the selfish and opportunistic people that you don’t need in your life, and saves you from future complications with these undesirable people. You will always remember the people who were there for you on your ugliest days—and you will MOST DEFINITELY remember the ones who weren’t. that doesn’t mean you have to be bitter and abandon those shady people in need; be the bigger person—but don’t feel like you owe them anything. You don’t owe them anything--think of it this way: each struggle in life is helping you take the trash out of your life.

3. You Find Yourself

Makes, no sense, right? Surprisingly enough, going through Hell and back helps you find yourself as a person because on your darkest days you find a way to push through, and I know more than anyone how pitch black and dark these days can be. Sometimes, I just want to fall asleep and never wake up. That’s not suicidal; that’s life knocking you down so hard that it feels like you can’t get up. Flowers don’t blossom without a whole lot of rain, and sometimes flowers get drowned in water by humans dumping copious amounts of water on them, but here’s the takeaway: so keep your head up. You learn what you’re capable of doing on your own, and just how independent and strong you truly are. You must experience a little (or a lot) of darkness before the sun rises in the morning (hopefully eight-hours, rest up kids) and there is no rainbow without a thunderstorm. Basically, you're a flower and that means you smell delightful and have a positive demeanor—rock on.

4. You Learn to Embrace the Little Things

I’m still working on this one myself because I show my feelings in a poor manner, but there are certain tiny acts of kindness that have been able to light up my heart even in my darkest times. If someone goes out of their way to do ANYTHING for you during this time, you will appreciate it one-thousand times more, and it reveals character. It can be something as simple as telling me my hair looks nice or that I did a good job on something. Maybe you brought me a coffee, or maybe it was just a sweet text; but that doesn’t matter: when you’re going through Hell, any sign of kindness can warm even the saddest heart. Little things in life become huge, and the second you learn this, the second you have put a blanket of positivity over your body that is palpable to others. Donate to a charity. Let someone know how much you love them. Everyone has their own struggles that you know nothing about—be kind, always.

5. Each Struggle Builds You Up

This may seem like a contradiction, for struggles are intended to break you down—but that is not true. Each struggle is a small blessing in disguise, or maybe it’s a big one, but either way it is helping you become a better you. That is so tacky, and hard to believe at times, trust me I know. Each time you bandage yourself up and successfully survive another struggle, you are winning at the game of life. Currently, that’s my biggest struggle. The things that you cannot control in life are often the hardest to cope with, and it’s a struggle that is nearly impossible at times to overcome. Chin up. With each bad thing in my life, I have grown with my coping skills and learned to brush things off that formerly would’ve sent me flying off the edge. Embrace the journey, endure the pain, and thank the struggle.