Before I begin, let me clear something up: I loved "13 Reasons Why".

I read the book in 8th grade and fell in love. When I saw that they had made a show, I was ecstatic. It was beautifully done, portrayed everything realistically, and sent the strong message that everyone needs to be nice to one another. However, at the same time, I hated it.

I hated...

1. I hated that it was so real.

I know that suicide and depression are very real things in this world. Unfortunately, I've been through it myself and I have both family and friends who have been through it as well. I know that the show/book are not real, however, it does a great job of portraying everything, and that's kind of why I hated it. It was awful watching Hannah go through everything.

2. I hated that I saw myself in her.

Watching Hannah deal with her depression was so hard because I could see myself in her. I didn't go through anything nearly as awful as what Hanah went through, but I could still relate to her. I'm much happier now than I used to be, in fact, I'd say I haven't been depressed in a long time, thankfully. However, that doesn't mean I don't remember how it felt. That's why it was so hard to watch this show.

3. I hated that I saw my friends in her.

Even worse than seeing myself in Hannah was seeing my friends in her. As I said before, many of my friends and family have or have been through depression. It's so hard watching the ones that I love go through such horrible things. As I watched Hannah, I thought about all of those I know that have gone through so much, and it really hurt.

4. I hated the sexual assault scenes.

Once again, though I haven't been through it myself, I have many friends who have been. The scenes with Bryce and Marcus were so realistic, which made them so hard to watch. All I could think of during those scenes is how many people suffer from sexual assault every day. It broke my heart. Yes, I know it's something that happens, but watching it happen (or watching the portrayal of it happening) just made it so real to me.

5. I hated the suicide scene.

Yes, obviously, I'm sure no one likes this scene. However, looking past the goriness of it, it was awful. As I looked away from the screen, I thought about those I've known who have either committed suicide or attempted it. I thought about those feelings that you have to have that push you to do something so drastic. I cried for a fictional character, Hannah Baker, I cried for my friends and family, and I also cried for any one who has suffered through suicide, suicide attempts, or even suicidal thoughts.

13 Reasons Why is an excellent show that realistically portrays the struggles of depression. Despite what people say, it does not glorify suicide. It shows the realities of it. It shows what those left behind go through once the victim is gone.

It shows the true effects of bullying, and how any small thing can affect a person in a large way.