Everyone who isn't from Florida has this tropical magical perception of our wonderful state. They imagine it to all to be like the Instagram worthy beaches, the pictures of Disney World and the occasional hurricane. However those of us from the great Sunshine State know that although beautiful, Florida is weird.
1. Our Cities Have the Oddest Names
Florida is like one big melting pot. We have quite a few Native American reserves and had settlers and explorers from many different cultures come to the state. That leaves us to have some pretty strange names for cities. Names like: Weeki Wachee, Eucheeanna, Withlacoochee, and Okahumpka (bless you).
2. No Shirt, No Shoes, No Problem
Have you ever heard that fact that no matter where you are you're never more than like six feet from a spider? Well here we have a pretty similar rule, no matter where you are in the state you're probably no more than six minutes from a beach, pool, water park, or some sort of bathing suit appropriate setting. So pretty much wherever you are you'll see sopping wet people in bathing suits and flip flops walking through gas stations.
To be fair though, you're definitely within six feet of a spider or probably some crazy much scarier creature in Florida too.
3. Nature Is Definitely Trying to Kill Us
Like I said, around here you're never too far from some creature. We have your typical bugs and critters. Then we have the made-for-Florida, out-to-kill-you stuff. Our Love Bug population is miraculously large for the amount of their carcasses that can be found on the front of our cars. Like how we manage to see out of our windshields sometimes is a miracle.
Never mind the kind of creatures living in all the water, the water itself here is trying to kill you too. If it's not riptides it's red tide. Stepping foot into the water is pretty much knocking on deaths door, but we all do it anyways.
And we can't forget about the storms. Our iconic hurricanes are enough to scare the pants (or swim trunks) off anyone. On top of that our ironically named "Sunshine State" was the longstanding "Lightning Capital of the World" for several years.
4. Gators. 'Nuff said.
THESE THINGS. They roam the streets like stray cats. Huge, aggressive, deadly stray cats. Welcome to Florida!
5. We Get Invaded by a Parasitic Species Every Year
Snowbirds... Deadly creatures. Forget those Love Bugs, riptides, lightning strikes, and gators. These guys are by far the worst. You can identify them by their obnoxious colored clothing, Hawaiian shirts, sun hats, and leather like epidermis. They tend to migrate south towards the winter months. So during these times please use caution in grocery stores and on the roads.
So Florida is pretty much the most entertaining place ever. We've got tourist attractions on practically every corner and surviving a day here is kind of a challenge in and of itself. So to anyone considering visiting or moving down to the wonderful Sunshine State, let me be the first to tell you, good luck!
