One of the downfalls to being a girl in 2017, is the notion that we need to be in a relationship. As a 19-year-old girl who has never had a boyfriend, I can relate to the frustration when hearing the dreaded words "are you dating anyone?" trickle from the mouths of friends and family. Having been asked this question numerous times, I began to think about why I couldn't care less about having a boyfriend and how I don't see this as something that should be viewed negatively.
1. Hearing Other People's Relationship Problems
Even though I have never been in a relationship, I feel as though I have been in 30 million after listening to my friends talk about their relationship problems. They say babysitting is free birth control, but hearing "oh my gosh! Billy texted me five times today instead of 10. He is so annoying" or "John chose to spend time with his friends instead of me" would make anyone run away from a relationship. I am not going to waste my time on petty relationship drama.Truthfully, I am not the kind of girl who wants to be glued to their phone talking to someone all day long. If that is a perk of being in a relationship for girls my age, I will take a hard pass.
2. I Like My Freedom
What could be so appealing about having to answer to someone 24/7? Oh I want to go to the movies with my friends, but wait let me ask my boyfriend so he can get mad at me beforehand and ruin my night. Countless dinners and movie nights have been ruined on account of my friend's boyfriends being mad about who they are hanging out with. If you are dating someone who constantly has to worry about who you are with and what you are doing I think it is time to re-evaluate who you are with. I do not find it appealing to have someone babysit me. If I wanted a lecture on who I should hang out with and what time I should be home, I would call my dad. However, even he knows I am an adult who is capable of making my own decisions.
3. Guys Aren't Gentlemen Anymore
In a Netflix and chill world, I am more of the dinner and a movie type. Guys nowadays aren't respectful and don't truly care about anything other than sex. I am not ashamed to say that I want to date someone who will take me hiking or bowling on the first date instead of straight to their dorm room. I pay close attention to the guys who hold doors open for girls or for the amount of "please" and "thank-you's" that come out of their mouths. It is important that whoever I do end up dating is a gentleman and is someone who I don't have to change my morals to be with. Mutual respect is something that should be a number one priority considering the fact that most guys view girls as objects. I refuse to be someone's possession and will not put myself in the position to be considered one.
4. My Education
I plan on graduating with a degree in Early childhood studies. I don't need someone to distract me from my ultimate goal of becoming a teacher. Ambition is another must for whoever I end up dating. Some guys nowadays think it is cool to have not have a job, not go to school and party all the time.I am not going to waste my time dating someone who is going nowhere in life and is going to want me to skip class to hang out with them. I would rather be productive with my time and do homework and study. I have enough to worry about seeing as though I am a woman and a minority in a country where Donald Trump is president.
5. I don't need someone else in order to be happy
One of the things I have learned from being single is I don't need someone else to make me happy. I am an independent woman who is content watching a movie alone in my room or going on walks by myself. In order to love someone else, you have to first understand who you are and what you want out of life.I have found many things about myself and experienced many things because I didn't have anyone to hold me back. Not being attached to someone made it easy for me to go on trips with my family and not be on my phone, and it forced me to spend my time doing activities that I enjoy.
While someday I hope to find someone who will love me unconditionally, my dad always told me that now is the only time in life where it is only about me. Going away to college and being on my own has forced me to become more aware of the decisions I make and how they will affect my life. I refuse to settle for less than I deserve based on this outdated notion that a girl needs a boyfriend in order to be happy. I can honestly say I am the happiest I have ever been and I have only myself to thank for how far I have grown as a person.
