Sometimes people attribute their lack of friends to their introvertedness, saying that they can't make friends because they are too afraid to talk to people. Other times people will tell you that they just don't like people (I can kind of relate to this). However, there are so many other factors that come into play when you find someone who doesn't have a lot of friends--if they have any at all. Here are five reasons I have trouble making friends.
1. You escape the drama.
How many times has a friend come home and yelled, "You will not believe what happened to me today!" then they proceeded to tell you how one of their friends saw one of their friends' boyfriends on Tinder and now Jessica is in a fight with Randy about the "open" relationship they have and you just sit there pretending to know who these people are and nod along with a story you don't understand? Sorry, but those conversations are just not for me.
2. Friday nights are so much better spent staying in than going out.
That friend that thinks every night is a Friday night is a serious problem for me. In fact, what you think of as a Friday night is my "once-in-a-blue-moon" night; in fact, blue moons happen more often than nights where I'm out on the town. What's worse is that so many people tend to take it as a personal offense when I say I don't want to go out. Believe me when I say I will start to dislike you really quickly if you so much as try to make me do something I don't want to.
3. No possibility for clingy friendships.
Ever had someone who just can't seem to be alone? When they go shopping, you need to go and help them pick out their groceries. They ask you to come with them to the bathroom because they are afraid to go by themselves, or maybe you just want to go on a walk and get some fresh air and you find this same person attached to your side every second like a dog trailing behind you.
I like being alone, so if I have someone who refuses to let me do that, our friendship won't last very long. Also, if you find yourself being the friend who is too afraid to do things alone, please please please try to get out of your comfort zone. You're going to need to be able to handle yourself when you graduate.
4. Don't even think about sharing.
Sharing secrets, food, makeup, whatever... not my thing. I don't want to come across as being uptight or mean, but I prefer the general rule of "I buy my things and you buy yours." Why does being friends mean we no longer have personal items? Granted, this is much more common with girls than with guys so maybe your dude friends don't have this problem. I know there is the whole "sharing is caring" saying out there. But again, not really my thing.
5. You have all the alone time in the world.
To be blunt, I want to be alone. If it is between going somewhere with a friend or going somewhere alone, I'll choose to be solo. Other things that I like also don't require a second party. For example, reading. I read on a regular basis as well as draw, write and play video games; none of which I typically do with anyone else. Having a close friend who would want to spend time with me is hard because the things I enjoy aren't going out and partying or shopping. I'd much rather get a coffee and sit while listening to music.
If you are like me and aren't known for the large group of friends you have, don't worry. It's okay to be a bit of a loner, even if people make fun of you for it. It's also okay to not be comfortable going out to clubs or drinking or whatever it is a friend may be asking you to do. As long as you are happy with yourself and your status with people, whether you have one semi-good friend or thirty best friends, you have nothing to worry about.
