When it comes to the female anatomy, a lot of things are under constant scrutiny and are as confusing as ever. As a woman, I have had the pleasure and sometimes the burden of owning breasts among other reproductive organs and I must say, it isn't easy. It can be tiring, painful, and don't forget awkward. Breasts are so much more than aesthetics and male fantasy, they are hard work and extremely important to the health of babies. But for now I don't have any babies and they're a real hassle. Don't get me wrong! As amazing as the females anatomy is, there is a lot I still don't understand and honestly, would rather not deal with.
1. They're just there
Literally guys, they're just blobs of fat sitting on your chest and you don't actually need them until you decide to have children. Is there a reason why they don't just grow during the 9 months of pregnancy? I would love to know.
2. They're hard work
I can't say this enough. Itty-bitty-titty committee you lot are lucky. Finding the correct bras for the girls is a grueling and stressful task. Finding clothing that fits or looks appropriate depending on the size of your breasts is not a joke and I ain't got time. Go braless and they play patty cake with your knees. Wear a bra, and the straps dig into your skin and adds tension to your shoulders. Did I mention back pain? Yea that's a real good time! How about when that time of the month when they are tender and painful. How about how strategic one must be if planning on running or playing any kind of sport. Sports bras aren't always an easy fix trust me. They also come with health problems. Hooray.
3. They're weird
First of all, they are never identical. Second of all, they can look and feel so strange sometimes. Like, have you ever just felt your boobs and been weirdly fascinated with the texture of the tissue you can feel inside? No? Yea, me either….
4. They are over-sexualized
*insert eye roll* For the life of me, I cannot understand a mans fascination with breasts. They aren't sex organs, although they're reproductive organs. I don't get it. They're for babies. Weirdos. Which brings me to my next point: Why does anyone care how low they hang? There is this thing called gravity, mate. Ever heard of it? In fact, why are they so sexualized to the point that women can't breastfeed in public? Why is it that suddenly the exact reason breasts exist is too crude for public eyes? Is it because we decided they're somehow sexy? Logic is something we should hold close to our hearts, folks.
5. Again, they're just there
Pretty much after you have kids, you don't need them anymore and so you’ll spend the rest of your life carrying around blobs of fat on your chest that you aren't going to use. Why? Please... why?
