Less than a week until I move in and the rate at which I'm hearing the words "these are going to be the best 4 years of your life" has intensified. And I'm excited, sure. College holds the promise of fresh starts, new opportunities, and a path to a bright future. But it also means a departure from the far safer world of counselor-made schedules and an ever-present parental unit. So I'll be the first to admit it- I'm scared. Here are 5 (potentially irrational but maybe not) fears I have going into my freshman year:
1. Not making any friends.
I don't want to be sad Stitch in an eternal rainstorm.
So I get that I'm part of a multiple thousand student freshman class filled with kids wanting to make friends, but what if none of them want to make friends with me? College means leaving the friends I made way back during my not-so-glory days of middle school, and, let's be honest, I'm not so sure how I managed it even then. But at least this time I don't have to deal with the braces/glasses combo?
2. Failing my classes.
At least I know to always pick C?
Grade deflation is a thing that exists. So are incredibly intelligent peers and a higher level of learning that high school could not replicate. I managed to get through high school and find my way here, but I can't help but be afraid of what's to come every time I hear a chant of "The #1 Public University in the world!"
3. Never finding a passion.
Actual footage of me trying to figure my life out
College applications were hard enough. Now, instead of choosing a hypothetical major from a huge list of interesting one, I have to pick the actual one that I will study and plot out the rest of my life with. No pressure. I can't help but be conscious of the fact that I'm paying a lot of money to be here and it has to amount to something.
4. Dying.
Except it won't be cool because I will be dead.
Okay but hear me out. Living alone. What if I forget to eat? What if I fall asleep in the main stacks and the ghost of a student past possesses me? Berkeley's not the safest city, what if I get mugged? What if I'm starving and get mugged while possessed by a ghost? All I'm saying is that it could happen and I'm afraid.
5. Missing out.
I'm trying, Anna.
These are supposed to be The Best Four Years of my Life, I get it. But it's up to me to make them that, and as of now, I don't have much of a plan. College offers an infinite amount of opportunities and a finite amount of time. The thought of not making the most of it, or worse yet, missing out on something I would have loved, has me scared.
People have told me that I have nothing to worry about and perhaps there's truth to that. After all, this is only a precursor to the terrifying unknown after college: adulthood.
