Over the ages of time, people in civilizations adopt sayings and clichés that correspond to the culture from which they come from. These phrases often have a basis in truth, however, as time goes on, they become so common that the meaning behind them becomes forgotten. Words are powerful and saying things without understanding the full implications of what they mean can be harmful. Here are five phrases that Christians should be wary of before they use them.

1. It’s not a religion. It is a relationship.

This one is tricky because, on the outside, it seems like a very correct thing to say, and when one considers what the phrase is trying to say, it is correct. The message that is trying to be broadcast through this is: Christianity isn’t about doing things to obtain salvation, it is about a relationship with the One who paid for it. This message is correct.

My problem with this occurs on two fronts. First, with the word “religion” in the first couplet. While I understand what people mean by the word — that it is referring to a verb, that is, to say doing things in order to gain salvation — I think this is not living up to what the first couplet is saying. For it to be the verb sense of the word, the phrase would need to read, “It’s not religion, it is a relationship.” But there is an “a” between the “not” and “religion.”

Christianity is unique, there is no doubt about that. Its message is fundamentally different from other religions. However, to separate it as not a religion is false and I think does damage to the church itself. The church was instituted by Christ Himself. It is his bride. Christ is the one who set it up, this system of belief, and to not call it a religion is to deny what Christ came to create.

Second, this phrase creates an atmosphere of isolation. While we as Christians do have an individual relationship with Christ—something that is vital to our walk as Christians—we are called into the corporate relationship of the church. By denouncing the religion aspect and emphasizing only the relationship, it bifurcates the individual from the church creating a form of neo-Christianity. Ironically, it fosters a façade that promises that all that is needed for the Christian life is one’s personal effort in their personal relationship with God.

2. God won’t give you more than you can handle.

I have heard this phrase told to people that were going through some of the toughest situations of life — cancer, death of loved ones, loss of income, etc. — and the people that say this to those who are hurting probably say it with the best of intentions. However, the problem is that it isn’t theologically correct. The fact is that He does give us more than we can handle. This cliché comes from the verse, “No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it” (1 Corinthians 10:13). However, this verse isn’t talking about trials, it is talking about temptations to sin.

When it comes to trials, God gives us more than we can handle so that we will rely on Him. Paul explains it well when he says in his second letter to Corinth about the persecution he and his friends faced while on a missionary journey. “We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers and sisters,about the troubles we experienced in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt we had received the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead” (2 Corinthians 1:8-9).

3. I will pray for you.

This isn’t wrong to say. This is a very good thing to say, for we are to pray for one another (James 5:16). I am by no means advocating that this be a phrase that we stop saying, but we should mean it when we say it. Far too often it is a phrase we say to people who are hurting and we forget to follow through. While by itself it may be comforting for people to hear and the sentiments of that phrase are good things to say in the midst of a crisis, however, it is something that we should follow through on. I had a professor in college that said she never used this phrase, rather knowing that as a human she was prone to forget, says, “I will pray for you as you come to mind.”

4. Ask Jesus into your heart.

Although this phrase doesn’t occur in the Bible, it is one that has become commonplace in Christian circles today. The phrase finds its roots in the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries from Anglo-American Puritans. Although the phrase looked slightly different then—“Receive Christ into your heart”—it has slowly morphed into what we have today. Its intent, both through history and today, is to emphasize the personal decision that a person makes when they decide to follow Christ. However, in many places, it has become synonymous with salvation itself, as if a prayer is required for salvation. While repentance is very often shown through the avenue of prayer, salvific repentance is more concerned about a heart attitude of turning away from one’s sin and toward the mercy of God that is found in Christ’s death, burial, and resurrection.

There are many today who base the validity of their salvation on the fact that they asked Jesus into their heart at one point in their life, allowing them to continue to live any way they wanted. True salvation is much different than that. While it can be expressed through the sinner’s prayer, it is the turning away from one’s sin and reach out in faith toward a Savior that has paid their debt in full.

5. I don’t feel led.

Again, this one isn’t necessarily wrong. As believers in Christ, we should be sensitive to the leading of the Spirit in our lives. However, I see a lot of people missing out on amazing opportunities to serve Him because they are waiting for fireworks in the sky as a sign from God. Too often people wait for a “calling” to go into missions, teach a Sunday school class, witness to their neighbor or serve in the church, however, we as believers have already received our calling: to make disciples. When Jesus gave the Great Commission in Matthew 28, He said, “Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit” (Matthew 28:19). He has already called us, and when we are sealed with the Holy Spirit upon conversion He qualified us as well.