In a world of "smol beans" and beanstalks, I enjoy the privilege of being above average height. I would not consider myself super tall, but in comparison to the majority of people I know, I would place myself in the taller spectrum. Both being short and tall have their benefits, but because I am biased towards my own height, I am going to present you with the perks of being a tall flower (pun intended).
*Please note that this will contain a lot of short person jokes, which is purely for satirical purposes.
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1. Reaching things up high
Oh, no, sir. You keep that step stool away from me, for I do not need it. I will merely stretch my arm to the max and lift myself up on my toes, and there! I reached the shelf. This one is a little more obvious, but it is very satisfying when you're with a group of friends who cannot reach a pair of shoes on the top shelf of Forever 21, and then you hop on your toes and stretch your monkey arms to get it. It makes you think to yourself, "Huh, if they hadn't brought me along, they never would've gotten those shoes. Woo-hoo, self-worth!"
2. Using your short friends as an arm rest
Living life as a tall person can get awfully tiresome, which is where the shorties come in. They stand beside you, and it just so happens that their shoulders line up really well with your arms, so it's basically like an invitation to use their small stature to your advantage. Trust me. They'll love it when you do this!
3. You're one step closer to becoming America's Next Top Model.
It's a well known fact that being tall is a prerequisite for being a model, since you need those long legs to strut yo'self down the runway. Designers often prefer a taller model, as the clothing drapes better over a longer torso, resulting in a clearer view of the clothing item, as if it were being presented on a living hanger.
4. Going on all the big kid rides
Growing up is always a pain, because you have to watch all of the taller kids go on the awesome rides, whereas you're stuck on the merry-go-round. But not when you are a tall person! Whether it be a local carnival or an amusement park, you don't even have to look at the height sign, because you know you'll be allowed on regardless.
5. Being a beacon in a crowded place
Tall people were specifically designed to aid those who are smaller. We have all experienced the fear of being lost in a large crowd, not sure where our mother or friends just disappeared to. Fortunately for all the short people, tall people shine like a beacon of height and hope in a crowd, where you can immediately pinpoint them and reunite with your favorite beanstalk.
Overall, being tall is a blessing, not just for the person themselves, but for others as well. However, height does have its disadvantages, where being short might be the preferable option. So I guess in this height battle, no one comes up short (pun intended).
