Here are some debunked myths about polyamory:
1. The "Right" Way to Do Polyamory
Poly relationships take on many forms, structures, and flavors. Some partners may choose to enter relationships where all partners are mutually involved, others not. Some partners might be open to new relationships, others may agree to not pursue additional relationships. Some poly people may have primary partners and secondary partners or feel uncomfortable with rankings. The point is there is no one way. How people do Poly depends on what works for them and their partners.
Across the board, however, poly relationships tend to involve ethical non monogamy, usually involving multiple, loving, committed relationships. These are established by mutual agreement, communication, and honesty between partners.
2. Polyamory is "More Progressive" than Monogamy
Polyamory is not for everyone, not does it mean you are less open minded, less liberal, or less accepting if you choose to orient your relationships towards monogamy, nor are poly people intrinsically less jealous or better communicators. The tools used by many poly people to build intentional relationships--communication, openness, articulation of needs and expectations--can benefit everyone, regardless of relationship structures.
3. Polyamorous Relationships Require Less Commitment
Like people, love and relationships change and require a high level of honesty and compassion to maintain over time. The dynamics of poly relationships require a lot of flexibility, negotiation, and articulation of emotions/involvements/needs between every partner. Doing this well, with honesty, patience, and love, takes commitment.
4. Your Poly Relationships Must be Sexual to be "Real"
Meaningful relationships are just that--meaningful, intimate, and life-changing. Romance does not automatically require sex, nor does sex between partners mean that relationship should be prioritized above non-sexual relationships. Poly relationships are created with the intention of acknowledgement between partners of the relationship and its importance. Connections and intimacy between non-sexual partners are just as valid as relationships which do incorporate sexual relations.
5. You Must Have Multiple Partners to Be/Identify as Poly
Polyamorous people often strongly identify with the term poly and regard it as an part of identity--similar to sexual orientation, for example. Being poly does not cancel out if you are single or only have one partner. Being poly does not even require that you "do" polyamory, it is very possible to consent to a monogamous relationship and still identify as polyamorous.
