Whether a cynic or a hopeless romantic, the majority of people love the idea of having a significant other. If you don’t fall into that category, that’s okay too. I, for one, would happily embrace the “I don’t need no man because I’m a strong independent woman” mantra; however, I’m perfectly smitten with my wonderful boyfriend.
Before I continue, I should mention that I am a BFA acting major. I have been involved in the performing arts for as long as I can remember and everyone knows that theatre is a wonderful way to make connections. Some of those connections may be acquaintances who you briefly see in passing while others end up being lifelong friendships; however, these are not the connections I am here to talk about today. I am here to talk about the dreaded showmance.
( Show-mance: adj. Combination of show and romance. When you fall in love with the character your fellow actor is playing instead of the actual person playing the role.)
Showmances can be deadly and heartbreaking which is why avoiding showmances is the real number one rule to Theater even though Stanislavsky and Shakespeare would disagree. As actors, we have to be able to separate the fantasy from reality and a good way to do that is to look for romance not on stage, but elsewhere. Playwrights create perfect fictional men so why not look for similar traits in real life? Whether you’re currently in a happy relationship or if you’re single and ready to mingle, here are the 5 musical theatre characters you will most likely date.
1. Roger Davis from "RENT:" The Starving Artist
“I don’t own emotion, I rent.”
We all know a guy like Roger. The angst, the talent, the beautiful hair, all qualities that make girls swoon. Imagine yourself walking into the open mic night at the local hangout spot. As you gauge the room, you suddenly lock eyes with the current performer from across the room. He strums his guitar while singing “Save Tonight” by Eagle-Eye Cherry. His past is troubled, his wallet is empty, but his heart is tender and desperate for love.
2. Marius from "Les Miserables:" The Emotional Heartthrob
“Do I care if I should die now she goes across the sea? Life without Cosette means nothing at all… Would you weep, Cosette, should Marius fall, will you weep, Cosette, for me?”
As a forewarning, I should mention that you might never even end up dating a Marius because he has a reputation of friendzoning those girls closest to him. *Cough Cough* Eponine *Cough* Marius is very in touch with his emotions and he gives his all in everything he does. French Revolution? He revolts. Standing for what he believes in? He’ll never surrender. Falls in love with a girl he sees for only a second from across the square? Follows her and uses the girl he friendzoned as the messenger to deliver love letters. Adorable if you’re the Cosette. Tragic if you’re the Eponine. No matter which side you fall on we can all agree that Marius is a beautiful disaster.
3. The Phantom from "Phantom of the Opera:" The Controlling Stalker
“Wandering child, so lost, so helpless, yearning for my guidance.”
The Phantom is a magician, architect, musician, composer, genius, and not even to mention he’ll kill for you. Literally. No matter how many roses he leaves you or how many songs he writes, you should probably stay away. Yes, his tall, dark, & handsome demeanor will draw you in like a moth to the flame, but believe me, no matter how silky smooth his voice is, he’s the type of guy who will become obsessed quickly, like “I made a doll of you wearing a wedding dress” obsessed and no parents want their daughter bringing that home.
4. Link Larkin from "Hairspray:" The Heartthrob
“I shoulda been there, beside her. I can’t sleep. I can’t eat…”
Link is popular, good looking, and despite hanging out with a mean crowd, he secretly has a heart of gold. Even though he makes some questionable decisions, he has some real potential to be your Mr. Perfect, as long as you don’t mind if his style is sort of stuck in the 1960’s. He’ll love you despite your flaws and instead of tolerating them he’ll embrace them because they are what makes you unique.
5. Alexander Hamilton from "Hamilton:" The Narcissist
“I’ll never be satisfied.”
He loves his work, he loves you, he loves his work, he loves your sister, he loves his work, he loves… Wait a second.
The Alexander is the type of guy who all the girls want to date and all of the guys want to be. He has a way with words that would impress Shakespeare himself; however, he’ll never be satisfied. Once he starts something he’ll have to keep going until he feels satisfied but like I just said, he’ll never be, catch my drift? If involved with an Alexander, it will most likely end in heartbreak but the worst part is that you won’t be able to hate him because there’s just something about him that screams, “I need you to take care of me.”
Are you satisfied?
If not, you can always go with plan B. Becoming a cat lady..
