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5 Minor Party Candidates We Do (or Don't) Need

Because Trump and Hillary aren't your only choices

Bridget Frouge

Nov 07, 2016

Southern Connecticut State University

5 Minor Party Candidates We Do (or Don't) Need

Liberty Maniacs

The day we've all been waiting for is right around the corner - Election Day. I'm sure the entire American population agrees that November 8th cannot come soon enough. 2016 has been quite a year and it's pretty reassuring to see that our presidential candidates have come down to a corrupt establishment politician and an offensive twitter-war-mongering billionaire. However, Trump and Hillary are not your only options. Of course your somewhat popular third party options are Gary Johnson, Jill Stein, and that suddenly relevant McMullin guy, but wait, there's more! Take a look at some unique third party candidates who you can write in on Tuesday,

1. Vermin Supreme

This guy's ambition is inspirational - he's ran for president each election since 2004 and this year, joined the race as a Libertarian candidate. Known for wearing a boot as a hat, Vermin Supreme vouches for zombie apocalypse preparation, time travel research, and a pony for all Americans. If that doesn't persuade you enough, he's also a self-proclaimed anarchist.

2. Jimmy McMillan

While he is the founder of the "Rent Is Too Damn High Party," Jimmy McMillian may be best known for Kenan Thompson's portrayal of him on Saturday Night Live. McMillan is another one with a passion for politics, running for offices ranging from mayor of New York City to president of the United States. He also is a former male stripper and Vietnam veteran.

3. John McAffe

Yes, he's the same guy behind the McAffe anti-virus pop-up. He also does yoga, was questioned for murder in Belize, and ran as this year's Libertarian Party candidate, losing to Gary Johnson. He's also the subject of the "Showtime" documentary Gringo: The Dangerous Life of John McAffe about his Belizean murder scandal, although he claims it's lies.

4. Deez Nuts

You know America is a beautiful country when a 15-year-old from Iowa can nominate a meme for the presidency - and receive 9% of North Carolina's vote in a pre-election poll. Deez Nuts, running as an Independent, is also leading Jill Stein as of August 2016 and received celebrity endorsements from rappers Warren G and Ice-T.

5. Harambe

Harambe just might be the candidate we need - but do we deserve him? The beloved gorilla-turned-meme who was tragically shot dead on the 28th of May in the Cincinnati Zoo has become a popular write-in for the 2016 election. He too, is leading Jill Stein in national polls. Rumor has it that his running mate is Bantu, another fallen gorilla brother.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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5 Minor Party Candidates We Do (or Don't) Need

Because Trump and Hillary aren't your only choices

1. Vermin Supreme

2. Jimmy McMillan

3. John McAffe

4. Deez Nuts

5. Harambe

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All names should be "unisex names."

1. Communicating via email can be awkward.

2. Appointments usually accompany weird looks.

3. Introducing yourself to someone is never without a hitch.

4. You’ve probably thought about changing your name.

5. You’re often asked why you have the name you do.

6. You get excited when you meet someone of your gender with your name.

7. You feel awkward when you meet someone of the opposite gender with your name.

8. You’ve had someone say to you, “I knew a [your name], but they were [your opposite gender].”

9. You’ve heard a bad joke/pick-up line or two about your name before.

10. People are surprised when they see you.

11. You’re extra sensitive to other unique or unisex names.

12. You’ve fought with your parents about it.

13. All things considered, you’re happy your name makes you unique.

You know that all of these things apply to you. You'll just never tell.

I get it... I'm pale.

1. At least I can't lose you in a crowd!

2. Oh my goodness your skin is like glow-in-the-dark.

3. Can't you just get fake tan?

4. Do you tan or just burn?

5. Your kids are going to look like Casper the Friendly Ghost!

6. *holds arm against your arm* Look how much darker I am compared to you!

7. *holds pale arm against another pale arm* Aw, at least you're darker than her!

8. I laid out by the pool almost every day over break!

9. I haven't used sunscreen since I was, like, five.

10. *adjusts selfie lighting to their face* Oops, where'd you go??

11. *after working out* Your face is SO red!

12. *wears white* Look! You're all one color!

13. You need to get some sun.

14. Aren't you excited for summer?

The struggle bus is real.

1. Child prodigies:

2. Hearing other musicians in the practice room next door and accepting that you will never be as talented as them:

3. That anxiety that takes over before every performance:

4. Taking a million 0 credit classes:

5. When there's a paper due the next day, but you have to attend yet another concert in order to pass a 0 credit class:

6. When your friends try to encourage you after a performance, even though you are criticizing everything in your mind:

7. Knowing that there's always that one professor during juries:

8. The oh-so-attractive band/choir uniforms:

9. Realizing that a college campus is maybe not the best atmosphere to finish your latest composition:

10. Hearing "Oh, you sing opera? I LOVE Phantom of the Opera!" for the hundredth time:

11. When people think finals week is a breeze for you.

12. When you're drowning in the stress that comes with 18+ credits (and not to mention all those 0 credit classes) and people ask you how you are:

13. When it all comes down to it, though, you know that at the end of the day, music is your passion:

Because you need it in your life.

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6. holds arm against your arm Look how much darker I am compared to you!

7. holds pale arm against another pale arm Aw, at least you're darker than her!

10. adjusts selfie lighting to their face Oops, where'd you go??

11. after working out Your face is SO red!

12. wears white Look! You're all one color!