In life, we learn lessons as we move along. Some give you experience while others are as fleeting as a dream. There are some lessons that stick with you in all of your endeavors and flourish in your heart. For me personally, these lessons have come from my father.
1. Family is everything.
My father is, without a doubt, one of the most selfless beings I know. Everything he does, he does for his family. He was willing to leave the country he was born and raised in, his own home, his first family just so he could provide a better life for his children. Every time I think about that choice he made and the strength he had to have had to make that sacrifice, I'm in awe. We have been in the states for over 10 years, and my father still supports his family back home, in every way possible. Even when he could hardly get out of bed due to a crippling illness or a persistent weariness, he always managed to find the motivation to get up and work just to make sure that we have a good life, but that his family back home is taken care of.
2. Tough love is the best love.
Growing up, I was a difficult child. Even now, I still have my moments. As a child, whenever things did not go my way, I would throw the biggest tantrums, thinking somehow, that would miraculously change my parents' mind about whatever the issue was. It never did. It took me a long time to come to terms with the fact that when my parents said no, they meant no. And an even longer time to understand their reasoning.
My father showed me early on that he was my father before he was my friend and though at the time I did not always understand his tactics, I now have a newfound appreciation for every decision he made. I now understand that he said "yes" when he needed to say "yes" and "no" when he needed to say "no." Even now, I find myself showing my little brother that same tough love my father gave me as a child. As an adult now, I see just how much I needed that. I understand that every "no" I was ever told was for my own protection and my own well-being. I understand that all of the times that my bratty younger self thought he was against me, he was actually my biggest advocate.
3. Listen.
Any one who knows my father knows he is a very reserved man. The two of us are very much alike in that aspect. My father has taught me that just as it's important to be vocal about your thoughts, it's just as important to listen to what others have to say. My father always said, "Even when you know what someone is saying, just listen because you might gain a new perspective." I hold this advice so close to my heart as I've learned that everyone has their own story to tell and sometimes, if you keep your mouth closed long enough, then they just might tell you.
4. There's always a greater sense of integrity in hard work than taking the easy way out.
If you looked up the definition of "dedication" in the dictionary, then I am sure you would find a picture of my father. My parents have always instilled the value of hard work in my siblings and me. Through my dad, I have learned of striving to be nothing less than the best I can possibly be. I have learned that there's no greater pride than success that is earned through honesty and commitment than shortcuts and deceit.
5. Hold fast to your faith and to your roots.
As accomplished as my father is, he never fails to thank God in all that he does. He's a man who believes in the power of prayer and the power of a just and loving God. No matter what tragedy comes his way, no matter what blessings are showered down on him, he has taught me that in this ever changing world, God is the rock that you can always cling to.
I was never a daddy's girl. I was way too stubborn to appreciate the efforts of my parents, my father especially. As I've gotten older though, I've come to realize the incredible impact my father has had on my life. Everything that I am is because of him. His sacrifices, his love for his family and his commitment to ensure that we all enjoy life with as little to worry about as possible has created a family built on an unyielding foundation. I know that I don't say it enough, but thank you so much for all that you have done for this family. Thank you for all that you have done for me because I know it was not always easy. You were right. Every time you said I would understand when I was older, I finally understand.
To all of the fathers who are struggling with rebellious prepubescent children, just be as patient and as loving as you have been. To all of the rebellious prepubescent children who think their fathers are overbearing and are out to ruin their lives, I promise you they're not. You're just being a brat and in time, you too will understand. Until then, don't be afraid to say, "I love you," every now and then. You're not too cool for it and they'll appreciate it more than you'll ever know.
Thank you, Daddy. There are not enough words to explain my admiration for your efforts and showing me what it means to be servant. And though I do not always act like it, just know that I do love you.
