2016 was a bad year.

But I wouldn’t say it was the worst. True it had some rough events, but a lot of lessons were learned in this year, that I will carry with me throughout the rest of my adult life.

1) I’m not here to impress anybody

I’m a 21-year-old African American female and I, by no means, feel as though I need to look a certain way or dress a certain way to be appreciated in society.

At least not anymore. I’ll admit previous years I would try certain looks and styles that I knew wasn’t ME. But because it was hot and trending and EVERYONE was doing it, I had to try it. Insecurities are hard to get rid of and it’s evident that I still have them, but I’m glad to admit that even though I have friends I can be my complete self around, I am learning to love me for my organic image and not someone else’s.

2) There are things that I will not have control over

It took me a while to realize that I can be selfish and I really don’t appreciate change. Friendships were lost because of decisions made that I know now I never had any control over. An election resulted in the way that it did because of decisions outside of my control. I lost a family member very close to me but I had to accept that too, was out of my control.

And I’m okay.

I learned to accept that things are out of my control and the best part I can play in any situation is the one that is open minded and knows their place

3) If something doesn’t work out, it wasn’t meant for you

This is self-explanatory and goes along with the second lesson: if the relationship you’ve made with this person didn’t make it to 2017, then it wasn’t supposed to be to begin with. Not everyone you have deep conversations in college with is going to be your best friend for life. We desire longevity in relationships that were only meant to be life lessons in a short term.

Break the unnecessary chains.

4. If the shoe fits…..

I’m entitled to having an opinion. And there’s those select few that want to hop on the “indirect shade” train and claim a certain someone is talking about them specifically.

If you speak in a general tone, you’ll have a thousand guilty consciences going off on you through a dm on a social media network.

Big mad or Little mad?

I’ve been on the other side of this situation too, but I’m not going to message someone angry because all that does is make me look guilty and not willing to change my ways.

It’s funny.

5) Life isn’t a competition

Just because Sally got engaged, an apartment and a car before you did doesn’t mean you’re living life wrong. This generation feels like everything must be done by a deadline. That’s a reason why I don’t make New Year’s Resolutions, because you stress yourself out the whole year trying to achieve this goal and you feel bad because the goal wasn’t made by January 1st of the next year. I am very content with the fact that things will happen for me when the time comes. I don’t try to force something to happen in my life because it never works out and I try not to say never, because the odds can turn against you and what you said would never happen, WILL happen.

I thought I’d try something different, because I’m not much of a New Year’s Resolution person (I never fulfill them). I find it more effective if I write down the things that I’ve learned about myself as well as the people I surround myself with.

So Happy 2017, Everyone.

Remember,

The key to a better you starts internally, rather than externally.

“Let go of what was and embrace what to be.” – Lailah Gifty Akita