5 Insults That Somehow Are Confused As Compliments To Black Women | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Politics and Activism

5 Insults That Somehow Are Confused As Compliments To Black Women

5 Things you should never say to a black women.

1172
5 Insults That Somehow Are Confused As Compliments To Black Women
Tumblr

For some reason, there have been several statements that have developed over the years that are meant to compliment black women and our beauty. However, I am writing about the different statements that are completely and utterly contradictory and pretty much a backhanded compliment to all women of color. Hopefully, some people learn from this and decided to never make these mistakes again. Here are in my opinion the top five things that somewhere got lost in translation as a compliment but are actually insulting

1. "Wow you’re pretty are you mixed” or “ You are pretty for a dark skin girl"

This is extremely insulting to all black women. I am not sure when this condescending comment became a compliment, but I will gladly explain why it is rude and unnecessary. Those statements imply that we as black women cannot become beautiful without the assistance of another race specifically our white counterparts. That being black alone is not good enough to constitute what the standard of beauty is. Why does being black and beautiful mean that I have to be mixed or of lighter skin? My ancestors gave me this brown sugar skin that I proudly accept and clearly you remain complex and confused because you try to reduce me to something other than who and what I am to understand my beauty. Please learn to accept my melanin because it is not going anywhere.

2. "Can I touch your hair"

I am sure that all black women whether natural, permed, weaved, or braided all hate the “ Can I touch your hair” question. First being asked this question is just plain rude and annoying. My hair is not a spectacle or a show that you should be amazed at. I get it, its different and unique and people love how versatile black women can be with their hair but you may I repeat may not touch it. I am not an animal and I will not allow you to pet me. Think of it this way, when we go to the zoo and you see a beautiful tiger or lioness you don’t jump in the cage and touch them just because their different or you haven’t seen anything like them. Why, because it's dangerous and you're invading their space. Touching my hair is invading my space and just like a lioness expect an attack, not physically of course, but verbally because your wrong and you should never feel comfortable enough to walk up to another human being and ask to pet them.

3. "Wow you have really good hair"

I know we already touched on the concept of hair, however, I think all people can benefit from refraining from the use of this statement simply because what does this even mean. I would personally love for someone to write a thesis on who develop the concept of good hair and what good hair entails. The kinks and curls of my hair are just as magically as the waves and straightness of another person's hair. The “good hair” comment is insulting because it does go back to the idea that black girls that have “ good hair” whatever that means must have some ancestors whose DNA represents something other than black, equating that black cannot be beautiful. Just for clarification, all hair is good hair, whether it's coarse, curly, or silky it's yours so it's good!

4. "You talk like a white person"

Granted this comment can be applied to any black person or any person of color in generally not just women. Therefore, in this case, it is understandable why this is so derogatory. White ethnicity or race is not the supreme or the standard model of who we all should be despite what the world has tried to instill in us, white people are not the only educated people in this world. Also talking white is actually not a thing, being educated and learning the proper pronunciations of a word is, and how dare you try to reduce me to something by stripping away my culture as a black woman cause I choose not use slang. I know this is meant as a compliment by saying that I am articulate, but I would personally prefer that. Just simply say I love how articulate you are without comparing me to a race that is not my own. Also, just some food for thought black women earn and receive more degrees than any other race. So maybe the new backhanded compliment should be “ You should talk and carry yourself like these prestigious black women”.

5. "You're not the stereotypical black girl"

Just to clarify here, a stereotypical black girl is someone who is seen as angry, loud, sassy, and pretty much all the negative attributes that seemly got associated with black women. I know what you're trying to say is that I am cool and you didn’t expect me to be this awesome, great but you should really change the perception you have of black women because it's rude and offensive. Being a black woman does not automatically mean you are negative and not somehow a beam of sunlight. I know plenty of black women that are more optimistic, calm, and articulate than most people I know, so just to assume that we all will exhibit these traits is profiling and wrong. Also for those that do have a little sass or attitude or upset about being systematically oppressed every day own it and don’t let anyone reduce you to a societal based stereotype. Heck, people already think we are somehow negative so be sassy, be bright, be a black girl and continue to make everybody watch as you continue to prosper in this world that neglects you.

Of course, there are more condescending things that are said to us black women every day but those five to me are really important. I hope my explanation help people understanding that those compliments that are supposed to mean well are just simply rude. Just simply tell us you admire us for who we are and who we are trying to be without trying to make us negative or some sort of spectacle. I mean it's understandable we give off this shine and glow that clearly attracts people. You don’t have to reduce it to statements like this to make us less powerful. Just accept it and live with it cause our black girl magic will continue just hopefully it will continue to prosper without these five backhanded compliments.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Featured

15 Mind-Bending Riddles

Hopefully they will make you laugh.

198399
 Ilistrated image of the planet and images of questions
StableDiffusion

I've been super busy lately with school work, studying, etc. Besides the fact that I do nothing but AP chemistry and AP economics, I constantly think of stupid questions that are almost impossible to answer. So, maybe you could answer them for me, and if not then we can both wonder what the answers to these 15 questions could be.

Keep Reading...Show less
Entertainment

Most Epic Aurora Borealis Photos: October 2024

As if May wasn't enough, a truly spectacular Northern Lights show lit up the sky on Oct. 10, 2024

19764
stunning aurora borealis display over a forest of trees and lake
StableDiffusion

From sea to shining sea, the United States was uniquely positioned for an incredible Aurora Borealis display on Thursday, Oct. 10, 2024, going into Friday, Oct. 11.

It was the second time this year after an historic geomagnetic storm in May 2024. Those Northern Lights were visible in Europe and North America, just like this latest rendition.

Keep Reading...Show less
 silhouette of a woman on the beach at sunrise
StableDiffusion

Content warning: This article contains descriptions of suicide/suicidal thoughts.

When you are feeling down, please know that there are many reasons to keep living.

Keep Reading...Show less
Relationships

Power of Love Letters

I don't think I say it enough...

461561
Illistrated image of a letter with 2 red hearts
StableDiffusion

To My Loving Boyfriend,

  • Thank you for all that you do for me
  • Thank you for working through disagreements with me
  • Thank you for always supporting me
  • I appreciate you more than words can express
  • You have helped me grow and become a better person
  • I can't wait to see where life takes us next
  • I promise to cherish every moment with you
  • Thank you for being my best friend and confidante
  • I love you and everything you do

To start off, here's something I don't say nearly enough: thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart. You do so much for me that I can't even put into words how much I appreciate everything you do - and have done - for me over the course of our relationship so far. While every couple has their fair share of tiffs and disagreements, thank you for getting through all of them with me and making us a better couple at the other end. With any argument, we don't just throw in the towel and say we're done, but we work towards a solution that puts us in a greater place each day. Thank you for always working with me and never giving up on us.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

11 Signs You Grew Up In Hauppauge, NY

Because no one ever really leaves.

28692
Map of Hauppauge, New York
Google

Ah, yes, good old Hauppauge. We are that town in the dead center of Long Island that barely anyone knows how to pronounce unless they're from the town itself or live in a nearby area. Hauppauge is home to people of all kinds. We always have new families joining the community but honestly, the majority of the town is filled with people who never leave (high school alumni) and elders who have raised their kids here. Around the town, there are some just some landmarks and places that only the people of Hauppauge will ever understand the importance or even the annoyance of.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments