For those of you that are just now coming to terms with the bone-chilling realization that Donald Trump might actually be a legitimate candidate for the Republican party, welcome to the sh*t show that is becoming the 2016 presidential election. As scary as it may be, the cartoonish former host of The Apprentice might actually stand a chance at becoming the leader of the free world. As arrogant and incompetent as Mr. Trump has proven himself to be again and again, there is still an alarmingly high percentage of Americans showing him support. Despite this man’s sleazy nature, Donald Trump is slowly inching his way toward the White House. With that being said, I can think of any number of candidates that would make far better presidents than this man, and some of them aren’t even human!
That’s right, even man’s best friend would, in my book, outshine Donald Trump as our president. Never mind his golden hair, for it pales in comparison to these five golden retrievers that would make far better presidents than Mr. Trump:
1. Dale
Aw! Look at that award-winning smile. Dale here is far better suited to be the elected leader of these United States. Not only is he incapable of having the racist ideologies that Trump expresses in many of his interviews, but he can't speak a lick of any language whatsoever. This means that Dale wouldn’t be able to say anything to offend anyone! If you ask me, that's one hell of a qualification.
2. Kevin
Donald Trump has proven to be an extreme misogynist in many cases. From downplaying the severity of sexual assault against women within the military and saying that it should only be expected, to commenting that his daughter’s physical appearance was enough for him to date her (if they weren’t related, of course), Mr. Trump is no stranger to shoving that big foot of his deep into his mouth. Kevin, however, doesn’t care what your gender is, so long as you keep scratching that leg-shaking spot on his belly.
3. Fifi
The American people want a president who is clear about what their intentions for our country are, right? Well, Donald Trump is known for giving vague answers to various media outlets when it comes to just how he plans to execute his presidential ambitions. Here we have Fifi, who knows how to get her point across. When she needs to go outside to relieve herself, she’ll sit by the back door. When she is hungry, she’ll use her nose to nudge her food dish to your feet and stare at you until she is fed. There is no doubt in my mind that she would apply these exact skills to her presidency!
4. Cooper
There have been four separate times that one of Donald Trump’s companies have declared bankruptcy, which is definitely something that doesn’t look good for a presidential candidate. Cooper, on the other hand, is one golden retriever that has not only never filed for bankruptcy, but has also never had a negative experience in banking at all! Sure, this might be largely attributed to the fact that it would be physically impossible for a dog to comprehend finances, but that’s still a pretty great track record. He'd have my vote!
5. Ginger
When you think of Donald Trump, chances are the word “entertainer” comes to mind far sooner than “president.” Given his sleazy, deceitful nature, there is no way this man comes anywhere close to just how trustworthy Ginger is. At almost ten years old, Ginger has proven time after time to be a loyal pup. If the American people threw a tennis ball, they could most definitely count on her to bring it right back, no doubt about it.
