I’ve never admitted to the fact that I am a painfully habitual person. Thinking about the time that I spend listing, writing down my plans hour by hour in my agenda, or about how I could make my breakfast blindfolded, I have openly swallowed that facet of my personality.
“If I’m not home to eat lunch by 1:00 I’ll just wait until 2:00 and eat dinner at 7:00 instead of 6:00.”
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You wake up two or three times a night fearing that you’ve slept through your alarm. Go back to sleep. It’s only 4:00 a.m.
Getting ready for bed at a friend’s house or in a hotel room probably feels like the end of the world. I just took a shower and I still don’t feel clean.
As soon as your gym releases their hours for the holiday season you indignantly rearrange the hours in your day. I say indignantly, but as long as I have the opportunity to plan ahead it’s fine.
Misplacing your planner calls for tears, panic, and choice words while retracing every l ast planned step. Finding it calls for more tears of relief and praise.
In some respects, I wish that I could tone myself down sometimes. Realistically, I love the way that my life is. I love being the planner and the organizer. I love knowing what is going on in my life at all times. I don’t love being spontaneous, but I am learning to.
College has taught me so much about the importance of a routine while also highlighting the peace of having nothing on the calendar. I am grateful for the way that I am wired. Because of the way that I am naturally I crave relationships with others that resemble me internally. Because of the way I am I work to one day be comfortable packing a toothbrush and bathing suit and going on an unplanned, weekend beach trip with my friends.
I am thankful for the wisdom that my lifestyle has given me. I have learned the importance of balance and the satisfaction of productivity. I have also challenged myself, because of the comfort I find in routines, to branch out. I have learned that spontaneity is not painful, it is not a waste of time, and it is not stupid. It is just uncomfortable for me.
I have learned that making yourself uncomfortable is indescribably fulfilling in the long run. There is so much joy in my heart when I look back and see that I truly pushed myself.
Anne Bachrach in "The Benefits of Doing Something Uncomfortable" says that: “the idea of making a major change may even lead to feelings of deep anxiety and self-doubt. The first step to overcoming this fear of the unknown is to learn a little bit more about the human mind. Realize that human beings are highly adaptive creatures, just as all animals are. Our bodies and minds are able to adapt to many difficult situations. Historically, human beings have lived amidst violence, poverty and other undesirable conditions for many years, sometimes for their entire life.”
It’s OK, it is normal to fear the unknown. For some people, myself included, said unknown is simply the act of spontaneity.
There is nothing like a good leap into the unknown after ten seconds of insane courage. There is also no feeling closer to home than when you implement your beloved routine again the next day.
