In case you didn't already know, it's summer people. Summer has finally graced us with its presence and we couldn't be happier for these sunny days. But not all of us are feeling the love for this season because some of us didn't take the time this spring to work on our summer bods. Some of us (me) haven't taken the time in months (or years) to get back into the shape they once were.
And now that summer is actually here (finally) we couch potatoes (or yams, whichever you prefer) feel the urgency to not look like a sack of potatoes (why am I using so many potato references?) in that tiny bikini (or the Baywatch/ 90's/ Mom AF inspired one pieces that shows way too much booty but are super "cool" right now and yes I own like three of them).
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So this one goes out to all you people hitting the gym or the trails for the first time in months (or years, don't be judgin' me) Here are 5 feelings you might or may have experienced your first time working out again.
1. Excited AF.
You think: I am SO FLIPPING excited. I am going to look super hot after months (or years, don't be judgin' me) of being a total sloth. I am going to hit the trail SO stinking hard and I'm going to look SO frakin' good and this is going to be a new me. New person, who dis? I don't need processed sugar anymore because I have my new life to live. I am so excited to finally be one of those people who just casually throws out that they're "going for a run." I got this.
2. Pride.
You just ran for a whole 20 mins. OMG, who even are you? Did you stop every 10 seconds to walk because your lungs were saying "Oh hell nah". Yes. But hey, you got off the couch. You did something with your body. Go you. You feel super energetic when you get back that you think "hey lets do some at home workouts." So you drag the yoga mat out, half ass a workout you found on Youtube (Carly Rowena is a queen btw so go subscribe to her because she is goals AF). Then about 20 mins in you think "Wow, I am AWESOME! I am a new person." You are just so happy with your success so far (you have only been at it for like 40 mins at this point). And then you are done because you just worked SO hard.
3. Regretful.
You go to bed that night thinking that when you wake up you will have a whole new body. Like BAM! you have a 6 pack, toned legs and no back fat because that's how this whole working out thing works. But alas, you wake up to nothing but regret. Yes RAGRETS, ever single letter. Your whole body is in pain. You didn't realize it could be painful to blink until this point. Don't even think about sneezing or sitting down to pee. Pain, just pain. Walking? You wish. It is more like a limp, where you somehow drag your limbs along. For the next two days every movement is accompanied by an "ow, ah, augh, ouch, f*** this, I regret it all, I am going to cut off my legs to make this end." Ya know, that kind of stuff. (No just me? Cool.)
4. Over it.
Why the hell did you do this to yourself? You were just trying to look somewhat less like a bag of potatoes (again, a potato reference, I need to come up with a new analogy). Thinks while sobbing: "I just wanna be pretty. WHYYY WHYYY." Then you get annoyed with everyone who can walk normal without spewing profanities. And finally you are annoyed at yourself for ever leaving that sacred place, also known as your couch.
5. Optimistic
After about three days you regain regular, unpained movement of your legs again. You begin to think that maybe you should go to the gym or a workout class again. Maybe you are going to be able to do this. So you go to a workout class where you push yourself to be better than the sack of potatoes that you really are (okay I am done with the potato references, I swear).
After your workout you have a protein shake (because that is what healthy people do right?) and you go to bed thinking that you will once again wake up and BAM! abs baby. (Because you still think that how it works). And you start this cycle all over again, because you're the definition of insanity which is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome. And you excepted a long time ago that you are probably a little insane.
No? Just me? K.
Anyone else feel this way while working out for the first time in a while? (or forever, don't be judgin') No? You are a completely healthy, normal and a non-sloth-like person. Okay, yeah me too. Was just asking for a friend. K. Bye
