Released on June 28, 2017, Okja is a captivating narrative about one girls love for her best friend, or at least that’s how I’ve narrowed it down. If you’ve seen the movie you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about. Honestly though, I feel like my heart was being continuously ripped out the entire 121 minutes.

I knew from the beginning Okja was going to be a movie about animal activism, but I never expected it to tug on my heartstrings like it did. I was sobbing so much that my roommates were probably worried about me. The message behind Okja is so inspiring that I felt I needed to share it. I’ve put together a list of 5 feelings I had during the movie, maybe you can relate.

Just as a forewarning, I will be talking about things that happen in the movie. If you do not want to read any spoilers I suggest you go watch the movie and then come back and see if these are the same feelings you had!

1. Awestruck at the Beautiful Simplicity

At the start of the movie, everything was blissful. Okja and Mija seemed to live their lives carefree in the forest doing things such as picking fruit, catching fish, and taking naps together. They lived a modest life, but a happy one.

I think this particular section was so magical to me because the life Mija is living (simple, yet fulfilling) is the kind of existence I am striving to live. Everything Mija needs is right up on her mountain and she is content. I need that in my life.

2. Anger at the Separation Scene

When Mija’s grandfather takes her up to see her parent’s graves I thought the story was moving in a different direction. It’s later revealed that this was one big distraction so that Okja could be taken away quietly and without a fuss. I am still so angry with this part. How could Mija’s grandfather let them take Okja without even letting Mija say goodbye? It was so cruel.

This scenario makes me think about my own pet. How would I feel if someone distracted me and let someone else take my precious pup without even letting me give her one last hug? It breaks my heart to think about.

3. Appalled/Disgusted by Okja’s Incredibly Inhumane Treatment

After being separated from Mija, Okja is taken to a laboratory facility in America. The movie shows us some really heart-breaking atrocities that happen to Okja while she’s there. First, Okja is mated (basically raped) by this crazy, jacked-up super pig. The noises were what really got me, and I balled for the whole minute or so it was on.

The second was when meat samples were taken from Okja while she was still alive. No graphic imagery is shown, but we do see the tool that will be used and then, of course, my imagination ran wild.

4. A Mix of Emotions During the Slaughterhouse Scenes

This part of the movie really got to me. I was sobbing during the whole scene inside of the slaughterhouse. Once they let Okja go, I was sobbing from happiness because they could finally be together again. As they were walking out of the slaughterhouse, I was sobbing from sadness because all the other super pigs couldn’t be saved.

There was a glimmer of hope when the baby super pig is pushed under the electric fence by its parents. I was happy that the baby would have a chance at life. Although immediately after this ray of sunshine the movie shifts back to the parent super pigs as they are watching their baby leave. My heart shattered into a million pieces. As if that wasn’t enough, I was in utter despair as all the super pigs in the field leading to the slaughterhouse start howling/crying. I’m getting emotional just writing about it.

5. Solemn Happiness at the Return to South Korea

The movie shifts back to South Korea and shows Mija, Okja and the new baby super pig living life in the mountains. This was such a happy moment, but all I could think about were the thousands of other super pigs that were slaughtered.

This last scene, and also the clip after the credits, really makes people contemplate what they would do in a situation like this. Would I continue to live my life in the mountains and make sure the super pigs have lived a great life, or would I continue to risk my life fighting for animal rights? Those are both two possibilities portrayed by the movie. Which one is right? Is it possible there isn’t a right or a wrong choice, but maybe just an individual choice?

Okja is such a special movie that flooded me with so many emotions. I am not sure that I’ve fully processed it in my mind yet. If you haven’t seen Okja yet, I highly recommend it. While you do that I’ll just continue to analyze and cry about this movie over and over again.