5 Emotional Stages Of Getting New Glasses | The Odyssey Online
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5 Emotional Stages Of Getting New Glasses

Out with the old and in with the new.

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5 Emotional Stages Of Getting New Glasses

Every glasses-wearer knows the feeling. You get to love your old pair, they become like a natural extension of your face. Then, the merciless hand of time touches your precious spectacles and they begin to fail. It starts off with a single scratch, then more soon follow. Pretty soon, you have to turn your head at a 30 degree angle to get a clear view of the world around you. After hours of this position, a few neckaches and countless people thinking you are "making a move" by tilting your head in an oh-so-seductive fashion unknowingly in their direction, you finally admit defeat and get a new pair of goggles. And so the journey begins.


1. Shopping for your next love

You enter the glasses store, heart full of hope and eyes gleaming, face-to-face with with floor-to-ceiling choices. Your face is ready. You take a deep breath and begin the hunt. Your eyes scan over the swirling designs and the shining metals, admiring the spectacle like Smaug the Terrible admires his hoard of gold.

Then, near the very top, you see them. The most stylish pair of glasses. So hip! So trendy! You gently pull them from their shelf and put them on and look in the mirror, only to find that your face and your bone structure have betrayed you once again. Those beautiful frames look absolutely ridiculous on you.


So, with a sigh, you resume your hunt, scanning through what seems like millions of potential suitors, only to be let down again and again. But then, like, a blessing from the Good Lord Himself, you see the pair that is to be yours. They're stylish, shiny and they don't squeeze your face! The perfect glasses trifecta! With a gleam in your eye and a flutter in your heart, you purchase your next love. And then you wait.

2. Waiting and doubting and waiting and...

As you wait for what seems like years for that call from the store saying your glasses have arrived, you envision them over and over in your head. But then, that old feeling comes back and you begin to doubt your style choice. Panic sets in.


Did I make the wrong choice? Was I too bold? I should have gotten something different - something normal. I can't pull that off. Why did I do that? And on and on it goes, your mind spinning itself into a frenzy, trying to reassure yourself of your potentially questionable style choices. But you have made your decision. Your answer is locked in. Come Hell or high water, this is what you have to live with. And so you wait. May God have mercy on your soul.

3. The big reveal

Congratulations! You got the call! You can now pick up your new specs during normal business hours. Faster than a speeding bullet, you run to the store, throwing caution to the wind. Your time has come! When you finally get to the store, you pick up your glasses, still held in their protective case, shielded from the outside world. This is it. The dawn of a new era.

You gently remove your old glasses, saying a few good words for their kind years of service and don the new ones for the very first time. Suddenly, every doubt you ever had fades away.


Strutting out of the store in your new glasses, you are floating on a cloud. You are the #Queen on the universe. The world is your oyster and all that jazz. In short, you are #flawless. And you are ready for the world to breathe in all the majesty.

4. The style game

Once you have your new glasses, you have to find out how to style them. I mean, come on! Your new face is gorgeous so your hair and outfits need to be on pointe, too! You start to ask yourself, what would this person wear? What do these glasses need?

Then, of course, there is the issue of what makeup goes best under your glasses which can really be a struggle and a half. You know the feeling. The sleek little cat eye you did before is either totally invisible beneath your new majestic frames or your old look makes you go full-on raccoon. The struggle is so real.

But then, when you do finally nail that new look and find that style that fits you and the glasses, you feel like a whole new person! Can you say #TransformationTuesday?


5. The new you

After hours of searching, weeks of waiting and hours more of styling, you embark once again into the world, a whole new person. And, after a while, you start to settle into this new face of yours. Yes, it can be sad to think that the novelty will soon wear away when you look in the mirror and people will stop gawking at you in awe, but that is just part of the process! Because let's face it: you look fabulous anyway: the glasses are just the icing on the cake.

And besides, when those break, you get to start the process all over again!

Now go out there and let your freak flag fly!


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