Election day is approaching fast. We have watched numerous debates. We have read the headlines. And, we have woken up each day wondering if this is real life. Our choices for candidate are pretty dismal...except for me. Yes, I'm still running for president. However, the polls have yet to acknowledge me. So, I have another proposal. Who is man's best friend? Who never fails to let you down? Who can you not get mad at even after they spill the garbage and spread it over the entire house? I'm not talking about Trump or Clinton, people. I'm talking about dogs. Here are 5 dogs that would make a better president than our current options. Honestly, including myself. I won't lie to you. I would vote for one of these dogs over myself.
1. Hercules
Herc is a 4 year old English bulldog. He never fails to have a "pawsitive" attitude. His photogenic ability is evident, and we all that this is a key characteristic for a president to possess. When asked why he is running for president Hercules said, "Woof bark woof woof." Which translates to, "I'm just happy to be here. Do I get a treat now?"
2. Diane
Diane is a spry 2 year old Puli. She has a great sense of humor and is known for her ability in negotiation. She graduated dog obedience school with flying colors. When asked what the biggest issue facing America today is she stated, "National security. Paws down."
3. Puffpants
Puffpants is a soft-spoken 87 year old Bedlington terrier. He is a very experienced dog and is widely regarded as the oldest living thing that has run for president, including Bernie Sanders. When asked what the first thing he would do as president he responded, "Probably take a nap. I'm pretty tired."
4. Dorothy
Dorothy is a 2 year old Goldendoodle. She began her career in politics by speaking out against big business dog food corporations. When asked why she wants to be president she responded, "I'm undoubtedly the most qualified candidate. This country needs me, and I am ready to loyally serve it."
5. Nugget
Nugget is an 8 year old Chow Chow experienced in foreign policy as well as a war hero. Nugget has traversed the Arctic and the chill of Siberia. He was also an admiral in the Great Dog and Cat War. He refused to comment on current cat and dog relations when asked.