Hey, it's me. Yeah, your server from that restaurant you went to last night. No, this isn't some weird kind of "Ghost of Christmas Past" type of thing. What I'm here for today is to deliver to you, and to everyone, a public service announcement that contains the most annoying, crappy things you could possibly do to your server.

1. Not tip

First off, let me just clarify: If you had a really bad server who genuinely didn't do their job well or even at all, don't feel forced to tip. We as servers are supposed to earn that. The problem, however, is when you just don't tip for no reason. Sure, you're not required to, but keep in mind, servers don't get to still make minimum wage like that crappy DMV employee or that rude movie theater cashier get to. They make maybe half of that, and most of that is used for the purpose of taxes. That's why you tipping is important. Servers work hard to ensure your experience is the best it can be, so the least you could do is leave a couple bucks on the table.

2. Yell at them over the kitchen's mistake

When it comes to your food, there are some things that are the server's fault, such as not giving you condiments you asked for, or maybe it's not garnished properly. But then there are things we literally had nothing to do with, even if we wanted to, such as your steak being cooked wrong. We understand that really sucks, and we'll go have it fixed. But what you need to understand is we, the servers, did not cook your food, so please, do not yell at me and then proceed to not tip me as a result of your steak that I did not cook not being well done the first go around.

3. Camping out after the restaurant is supposed to close

Hi, yes, you saw the sign on the door that said our hours are from 10-midnight, right? Well, it's 12:30 am, and you just ordered another beer at the bar. Why? What possibly possessed you to do that? It's not like we've been here since five, or maybe even since we opened if we had to work a double. We don't want to go home or anything.

4. Interrupt

"Hi, my name is---"

"Water with lemon."

Um. Okay. I see that you don't care about who I am, or seem to regard me as a human being, even. Also, when I'm asking you for your order, please let me get out what I'm trying to say instead of cutting me off. I'm trying to make sure your order is complete and how you want it, not just talking because it's fun.

5. Have your ticket divided 17 different ways

I'm very glad that you and 25 of your closest friends decided to dine at our fine establishment this evening. What is truly the cherry on top is that you're all on separate tickets. Jessica and Chad are paying together, Sandy, Cheryl, and Mary are too, and John and Mike will each pay for their own food, but Mike is also going to pay for the spinach dip that was on Amy's ticket because he ate more of it than she did, and everyone else is paying for their own. Three people are paying with credit card, and eeeeveryone else has cash. At least four of them are paying for their $30 ticket with a $100 bill for no good reason.

Thanks for that.