We all know that one girl that really hates you for no apparent reason. At first you wanted to assume she just had a resting mean face but clearly, she doesn’t. It is evident that she treats you differently from the next person. Well, there is hope, and here are five commandments to help turn around your situation against the “enemy.”

1. Worry About Yourself

Honestly, just try to Taylor Swift it and shake it off. Maybe you won’t have to confront her at all. If you really cannot find one reason for her to hate you, then what can you do? Do not revolve your whole life around trying to figure out why someone else has a problem. Do not be intimidated or submissive just to get her to like you because that shows obvious weakness. Just pretend she doesn’t even exist. Life goes on. She will continue to hate and you will continue to love life. If she persists, continue to the second commandment.

2. Find The Courage To Talk To Her

If it feels like it is absolutely impossible to live your life without her making it a living hell, then it’s time to go for a blunter approach. It’s time to sit down and talk. Now, still have the same mentality from the first commandment. It makes no sense as to why she will not leave you alone and feels the need to give you a hard time about everything. I know this can be a very hard step to take because it requires you to be a bit confrontational, but don’t worry. Practice on a friend, make a list, or even give yourself a pep talk. But this has to be done. They will not let up if you do not say something.

3. Be Firm

This is not the time to let the tears fly. You are angry, and you are fed up. Speak up. The bully will always have control over you if she sees that she can easily get to you. But if you show her that you are the wrong one to be messing with, she’ll back off. Even if it’s just something simple that they do that bugs you, let them know. Ask questions. Ask them why, and demand an explanation. Your voice will be heard. I encourage you not to do this when you’re are filled with anger because you may say things you regret and make the situation worse. Pull her aside and ask if she has a moment to speak. Make her make time, because it is time. If she refuses to talk, keep trying as long as she keeps messing with you.

4. Be Compassionate

By trying to get rid of the bully, we don’t want to be a bully ourselves. Do not be completely vicious. There is a difference between firm and hostile. At this point in the conversation, you want to give her an option to let go of any harsh feelings toward each other. This is the time to get a little bit of insight about her and where she’s coming from. Understand one another. Communication is key. Most likely than not, she feels like you have done something to her first to spark this feud. In that case, do not be afraid to apologize for the misunderstanding and feel free to express yourself. It’s okay to apologize as long as you are not the ONLY one apologizing. If she doesn’t seem remorseful, don’t get too sappy with her. You want to show compassion because we want to end the problem, not fuel the fire even more.

5. Live Your Life

After you’ve talked things out, things are only going to get better or worse. There’s no in between. When you encounter her the next time around, do not glare at her and make her remember the conversation you guys had. Act like nothing happened and she’ll act like something happened, if that makes sense. Come in with a fresh new attitude willing to start things on the right foot, with a heart full of forgiveness, and there’s a good chance she will have no problem doing the same. If things get worse, you have two options. Resort back to the first commandment and start all over or cut her out of your life. She has to become irrelevant and you have to show her that you will live life happy as can be and there is nothing she can do about it. You should be proud of yourself for stepping up and trying to change your circumstance.

Good luck to you, and good luck with your situation!