What if we chose to let go of the common, yet damaging, beliefs like "I'm not good enough" or "I'm not pretty enough?" Whether these beliefs come and go, or you feel them consistently, you know the negative, potentially hurtful effects these comments and thoughts can have on us. Here are the five beliefs that, as my first year in college comes to a close, I have come to know all too well.
This is what I have learned:
I am not perfect.
Embrace the imperfections because that is what life is truly made of. If everything in life were actually perfect, then no one would complain, change or be different. There comes a point where you have to realize that you cannot expect yourself to be perfect, and although it may seem that other people are, no one is perfect. We are all perfectly imperfect.
People will fail me.
We are taught to see the good in people, and to stick by those we love. But, sometimes, no matter how much we try, no matter how much we love, no matter how good we may be; people will fail us. The pure truth of the matter is that some people will not turn out to be the people we thought they were or that we hoped they would be. We have high expectations, and even when we attempt to limit them and not project them on others, we do so. No one can always live up to the pretty little version in your head. If they could, if everyone could, then life would be perfect, and we see everyday that it is not. So, yes, some people may fail you, but that does not reflect who you are or your efforts in the matter; you have no control over what others may do or how others may act, but you have a say in your response to it. Never fail yourself.
Love is patient.
Love, falling in love, and even falling in like with someone is patient. People say it's instant; people say—or rather John Green made us say—"I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once." These things may be true once you meet that person that is as much right for you as you are for them, maybe this happens. I'm talking about love being patient in the sense that we have to be patient for love. Our generation is so prone to "get" and "find" love, to have what everyone else has, and to have these 'relationship goals' we all hear about. However, this kind of view of love makes it a game, and frankly, not one I want to partake in. I know waiting for the right person, the person that makes your heart flutter and your perfectly capable brain go stupid, is hard. It's long, longer than it should be, and I won't pretend it's fun. But, if we all have the view of love in which it was intended: love is the desire for their soul. Love is two people who are madly passionate about one another; who listen and learn from the other; who compromise and prioritize; who view life as more than just their own; who the sun rises and sets with. If we saw love more like this, couldn't we all be a little more patient?
Full maturity hasn't reached me yet.
And that's okay. We want to believe we are so grown up, on our own, out of our parent's house, and like we have conquered the world. However, there are moments all the time where I think to myself that I could of handled something better, or acted differently. Real maturity, is much more than the definition sense of the word, it is thinking before you act, considering other people's feelings and sensitivities, and being the bigger person. There is value in leaving room for yourself to grow.
I am good enough.
This is the one that gets the most of us. It's difficult to attempt to find yourself, understand yourself, and love yourself in a world with people who seem to be doing it better. I can recognize that, but the difference between yours and someone else's journey is the mere fact of story: where you came from, who you are, and what you've done in your life. You don't know their story, and they don't know yours. But, somehow and in some way, we constantly compare our worth to that of others. However, when we do this, we aren't comparing ourselves to the actual person, the person who has struggles, successes, and highs and lows too; we are comparing ourselves to the version we have created of them solely based off surface looks and evidence. We believe that the world is judging us, but really, we are judging ourselves. No one is saying you aren't good enough; that voice is the one in your head. Silence it; it may seem simplistic but, everything is a choice.
What have you learned?
