Watching The Lions Game

Being a Lions fan isn't easy. It takes a special kind of masochism to devote ones' life to being a fan of one of the most futile organizations in professional sports (even more so now that the Cubs have finally ended their drought.) Still, if there's any advantage to being a Lions fan, it's that we always get to watch our team host some other sorry suckers in a Thanksgiving Day game. This year, they play the Minnesota Vikings on the primetime stage, so you can bet I'll be avoiding getting in a screaming match with a family member by instead screaming at the TV.

Stuffing My Face With Food

It's not easy to talk when your mouth is busy chewing food, so as soon as dinner is served at my family's customary time of, like, 3 o'clock, I'll begin my celebration of Thanksgiving in the purest form: being thankful that I don't have to carry a conversation that I don't want to have because I'm busy mowing down on turkey, lamb, green bean casserole, stuffing, salad, cream corn, pumpkin pie, and whatever else happens to be on the serving platters.

Poring Into My Phone

Any political discussion will lead to my elder relatives drawing the same conclusion, regardless of the outcome: I'm just another millenial. Why not cut the pain out of the process and resort to doing what older generations think is already the only thing we do? I'll be sure to spend my time playing games like Candy Crush and reading articles that, as some would say, strengthen my liberal echo chamber. A few pieces by The Guardian, Washington Post, and The New Yorker should do the trick.

Play With The Dogs

Dogs don't have complex political views. They don't go on long rants about how bad of a job Obama has supposedly done as president. They don't question and complain about taxes. They don't tell you to your face how awful LGBT people are, all the while unaware you're one of the sinners they're going on about. They don't - you get it.... They are, however, great fun if you want to pet something fluffy, play fetch, and ignore anyone who does do all of the aforementioned things!

Take A Nap

We all know how a full stomach makes the siren call of a warm bed that much more compelling. That effect is doubled when you eat as much as I fully plan to eat on Thursday. It's tripled when you have reason to avoid interaction with certain people. After the game is over, I've eaten all the food I can, and thoroughly tired myself out from entertaining the dogs, my bed will be the perfect place to wait out the get-together.