So if you've been on the ~social media~ train lately, you probably know all about alternative facts. You know, the things that are facts but completely contradictory to actual facts but Kellyanne Conway says they're actually true? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Well, if you answered yes to the above, imma bout to drop some serious alternative fact truths on you about depression!
Alternative Fact 1:
Always tell the person you know exactly what they're going throughespecially if they have depression. They seriously love when you relate to their inability to feel a reason to get up in the morning or struggle to find motivation to engage in daily tasks. One time you were really sad for a few days? It made you feel like you would never see the sun shine again? Awesome. Thanks for your input, it's really appreciated and helping!
Alternative Fact 2:
When people tell you they're having a depressive episode, you should simply advise them to try and be happy! It's actually a fool-proof plan because -doiii- they didn't think of that themselves! Just, when someone confides that in you, the best thing you can say is "Well, have you tried just thinking of happy things? Sometimes I'm sad, but I just need to remember all the good in my life and I start to perk up!" <-- you couldn't say anything better than that right there! It's totally not out of their control because there is believed to be a chemical imbalance causing it or something! So advise away, Jose.
Alternative Fact 3:
In par with the last one, if that doesn't seem to perk them up, please remind them that their life could be so much worse! As Kourtney Kardashian once said to Kim...
Because, again, it's in their control. They keep choosing to be depressed, right?!
Alternative Fact 4:
Comforting them isn't working? Telling them it could be worse wasn't taken they way you thought it would be? No fear, there's another option. People suffering from depression, similar to a sulking child, need to be told to get over themselves. Like seriously, how bad could lacking drive in life be? Sure they don't have control over it but the least they could do is try to go out and have fun? So just tell them "Get over yourself, your life can't be that bad." Please. Do it.
Alternative Fact 5:
I would say the #1 thing you should say to someone with depression is "Depression isn't even real, you're just sad. Deal with it like everyone else." That's the hardball hitter right there. Truth BOMB. Despite scientific evidence supporting the realness (not to mention the LIVED EXPERIENCE of people) we've learned something pretty important in 2017 and it's that scientists are trying to fool you. Global Warming? Lie, just like depression. Silly scientists, leave these things to people with no prior experience or knowledge!
There you have it! Go forth with your new "facts" and change the world of mental health!
