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5 Alternative Topics For A March Madness Bracket

Find out the best of the best by using head to head matchups in a bracket.

John Lof

Mar 20, 2017

Luther College

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5 Alternative Topics For A March Madness Bracket

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IT'S TIME TO GET MAD!!!!!

The time of year has rolled around once again. March Madness! The NCAA Basketball Tournament is upon us. It's that time of year when everyone is a seasoned analyst of college basketball. Print off some brackets. Join a betting pool with some friends. Sit in the conference room at work and watch the game on the projector or on one of the various TVs around the room added especially for this week.

It's hard to believe, but not everyone gets as crazy about the 'Big Dance' as you or I. For many years groups of people have created their own subject to place in a bracket in order to supplement what they're missing. Let's take a look at some of the other topics and conflicts a bracket can be useful in resolving.

Breakfast Cereals

Mom is at the grocery on a budget she can only get one cereal. Tommy needs a sugar high from his Cap'n Crunch in order to get through the school day, but Dad's cholesterol is through the roof and needs Multigrain Cheerios! WHAT IS SHE GOING TO DO?

The battle of breakfast cereals has long been a contentious fight. Families have been torn apart at the kitchen table in the morning. Heavyweight weight match-ups lie ahead in this potential bracket. Lucky Charms v. Fruit Loops. Frosted Mini Wheats v. Bran Flakes. This alternative bracket topic is sure to start a fight.

Toilet Paper

Ah. The age old 'which toilet paper do I use after using the bathroom' question. Do you get the commercial 1-ply or the heavy duty industrial 10-ply for those extra messy situations? How cheap is too cheap? What is my required softness? Could I use this to sand down my kitchen cabinets? Do I really need toilet paper? The search for the right toilet paper raises many questions, some of which may not come up for the average joe. Make your choice wisely.

Beer

It's the end of the week. Ya get home, grill yourself up a nice steak and some taters, turn the tube on, and kick your feet up. What could possibly make this scenario better? Exactly what you and I are both thinking, a nice cold one. Which one do you choose? Something cheap? Well that might just end up tasting like a piece of bread or stale urine. A craft brew perhaps? Yes, because who doesn't like bacon flavored beer? This is a search you just have to sit down and try for yourself. After you try enough in one sitting, it's not going to really matter which is which.

Television Shows

Thursday night. It's been a long day at work. You need a laugh. You have every single show at your fingertips. What do you watch though? Use a bracket to choose between hardcore drama or a classic situational comedy. "Breaking Bad" or "The Dick Van Dyke Show"? The choice is yours, but sometimes that can be difficult. Use a bracket!

Apples and Oranges

If you can't think of anything else to use a bracket for, apples and oranges work just fine. You could use any kind of fruits too! Grapefruits and pears. Clementines and well, I guess just another type of fruit.

Need to settle a dispute? Maybe you have a matchup you need to figure out. What ever you need, a bracket has your back.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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5 Alternative Topics For A March Madness Bracket

Find out the best of the best by using head to head matchups in a bracket.

IT'S TIME TO GET MAD!!!!!

Breakfast Cereals

Toilet Paper

Beer

Television Shows

Apples and Oranges

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"I don't want to do things. I want to not do things."

1. When you look at the syllabus and realize there are only three weeks of the semester left; even though the first day was LITERALLY yesterday.

2. You look at your grades and realize they probably aren't as high as they should be, which is a terrifying realization.

3. When you think to yourself at night, "tomorrow, I will wake up early and go to the library ALL day, and, hell, maybe after I'll go to the gym for a little bit, just to push myself that extra mile."

4. Tomorrow actually comes. The inevitable and overpowering sense of procrastination is too strong to overcome.

5. But you DO end up going to the library. Not all day though, but still, a while. But no, you do not go to the gym. Still, you made an effort, so you decide to treat yo' self.

6. When you realize you need to schedule a meeting with your adviser because you need to sign up for classes next semester. But you also realize that since you waited until the last minute, you're going to get stuck with all of the crappy classes.

7. When you low-key try to slip into conversation with your professors that you need extra credit because you're that desperate.

8. When it's already the third time you've seen your adviser in two days because you have no damn clue what you're doing and need all the help you can get.

9. When you apply for a job associated with your major even though you have no experience, but you just want to dive headfirst into the deep end of adulthood and get it over with.

The world is not always sunshine and rainbows, and you do not have to be, either.

It would be so much easier to just pay someone to do it for you

1. Figuring out when to start

2. Searching through list after list to get everything you need

3. Shopping for deals

4. Getting bins to put everything in

5. Figuring what you can’t live without

6. Going through clothes to find what you need

7. Finding out your siblings took something from you

8. Fighting with your parents.

9. Trying to plan things with your roommate

10. The fear of forgetting something

11. Move in day

We all have that "I don't care" attitude.

1. Most students just take life day by day.

2. That means procrastinating, one day at a time.

3. College students don't mind dressing like crap sometimes.

4. In fact, dressing nice feels weird.

5. College students get so stressed that they contemplate dropping on a daily basis.

6. But most find another solution to deal with that stress.

7. And that solution can be pretty cheap. Anything over $5 is expensive.

8. One of the only things college students will spend money on is coffee.

9. College is just really expensive and you never forget how expensive it is.

10. But hey, we're getting a somewhat high-quality education, right?

11. We all really just want to pet dogs all day.

12. And eat pizza for every meal.

13. And stab the next person who asks us what we want to do with our life.

14. However, despite the stress and student loans, college is amazing and there's plenty of reasons to smile.

Thank you, April, for inspiring us with your wicked relatability.

Life is full of twists and turns, but you have to keep going.

1. Wallow.

2. Cry.

3. Get Angry.

4. Tell Someone You Love Them.

5. Forgive.

6. Let go of the negative people in your life.

7. Be yourself.

8. Swallow Your Pride.

9. Stop Freaking Out Over Your Body.

10. Say No.

11. Accept Love.

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