Lesson plans are every Education major and teacher's BFF. We just love them. Here are some thoughts that may occur while writing lesson plans:
1. Wait, am I creating these off of *local state* Standards or CORE Standards?
2. I'll just do state standards.
3. No, maybe it would be best to use CORE Standards.
4. Whatever, I'll figure it out as I go.
5. Am I really going to refer to this plan?
6. My plan is never followed.
7. I guess this is more of a guideline.
8. A guideline that may quite possibly not even be looked at.
9. You know what, I'll just pretend that I will actually follow this plan.
10. Are my students actually going to go along with this plan?
11. They don't even know the plan, never mind.
12. Do I want to work on grammar and sentence structure today or character analysis?
13. You can never teach enough grammar.
14. But the character analysis will engage them more than periods and commas.
15. When was the last time they had a concept quiz?
16. Do I really want to grade a quiz though?
17. I should probably figure out which standard I want to focus on before I go any further.
18. State or CORE is the question.
19. What if I just read something to them?
20. No, no one ever likes to be read to.
21. Especially if it's Shakespeare.
22. What if we watch "Romeo and Juliet", but the Leonardo DiCaprio version?
23. But then I have to make them write a reflection on that.
24. And they hate writing reflections more than me reading aloud to them.
25. Maybe I'll just ask the students what they would like to do.
26. Their answer is just going to be "give us free time and an A," but maybe it'll be worth it.
27. For them, choosing between being read to and watching a movie that has a reflection at the end is almost as bad as choosing which tooth to rip out.
28. Do I really want to become a dentist just because of an assignment?
29. No, I'm a teacher, not a dentist.
30. But, anything that I choose for them to do will be "boring" no matter what it is.
31. I really want to do a character analysis.
32. We're just going to do the analysis.
33. Maybe I'll bring in some candy to soften the blow.
34. But what kind of candy would they like?
35. Chocolate gets too messy if it's hot in the classroom.
36. Which is always.
37. I think I'll just bring in lollipops.
38. Lollipops are simple and fairly clean.
39. And everyone loves lollipops.
40. Well, almost everyone.
41. It's candy, they'll like lollipops anyway.
42. So it's settled.
43. Character analysis and lollipops it is for our next class.
44. And now to plan tomorrow's lesson.
45. Back to square one.
46. But first, a nap.
